Category: Science & Technologizzy
Dick Cheney to Form GOP Apology Task Force
WASHINGTON, D.C. (GlossyNews) — Texas Representative Joe Barton’s strange apology to BP CEO Tony Hayward for the government imposed $20 billion escrow account to repay damages caused by the Deep Horizon oil spill continues to spark controversy. The ill-fated gaffe…
FEMA Releases Prep Guide for an Extinction-sized Meteorite Impact
Not ready for a potential meteor impact that could destroy all life as we know it? Download FEMA’s preparation guide and feel better about attempting to protect your family.
Scientists Redefine Kilogram Using Mass of Local Chicago Man
After much debate, the International Bureau of Weights and Measures (IBWM) has finally agreed to peg the exalted kilogram to the consistently stable weight of Chicago area man Travis Phillips.
Acme Corporation Profits from BP Spill Efforts
Acme Corporation is reporting a huge profit upswing this month. Acme is the chief supplier of underwater doo-dads for BP Corporation, the sponsors of what is now the largest oil spill ever, on wonder why they are the biggest, they…
Economy Causes Jupiter Cloud Downsizing
Boat-Upon-River, Oxfordshire, England, Great Britain (GlossyUKNews) — Professor Percy Hyde-Warf spoke from Oxford’s esteemed Council on Planetary Stuff this week on the planet Jupiter’s recent atmospheric changes. The CPS Director told reporters, “In short ladies and gentlemen, it’s those bloody…
Obama Inspires Oil Spill to Clean Itself Up
Smelly Corners, LA (GlossyNews) — President Barack Obama’s recent visit to the Gulf Coast was billed as a chance for the Commander in Chief to assess the damage caused by the massive oil spill, but a top White House aid…
Obama Offers Citizenship to Mexicans Who Help Clean Up Oil Spill
Washington D C (GlossyNews) — In a stroke of political genius, President Obama has figured out a way to kill two birds with one oil blob. He has offered full American citizenship to any illegal immigrant who brings a mop,…
Next iPad Prototype Found in Parking Lot
Cupertino, Ca (GlossyNews) — In what seemed to be a case of apparent carelessness on the part of an alleged Apple employee a next generation iPad was reported lost — eventually found — in a parking lot. A leading technology…
Woman Sues Google After Attempting to Cross Street
Reno, NV (GlossyNews) — A Reno NV woman became the second person to sue Google because of an issue with Google Maps. Similar to an earlier action in Park City, UT, the woman, Eustancia Dumas is suing Google for poor…
World’s First Obedient Cat Stuns Scientists
Providence, RI – Sir Wiggims, the 12-pound Persian who belongs to Sherry and Gordon Foster is not any ordinary house cat. In fact, most who see him in action wonder if he is indeed a dog in cat’s clothing. That’s…