Obama Offers Citizenship to Mexicans Who Help Clean Up Oil Spill

Washington D C (GlossyNews) — In a stroke of political genius, President Obama has figured out a way to kill two birds with one oil blob. He has offered full American citizenship to any illegal immigrant who brings a mop, bucket or leaf blower down to the Gulf Coast and helps clean up the giant oil spill washing ashore.

In a hastily arranged press conference, President Obama could hardly contain his excitement. “It looks like the good Lord has provided us with a solution and given us an army of the best of the best when it comes to cleaning up a mess. The first line of defense will be 20 million Mexicans with leaf blowers who will attempt to change the course of the spill by blowing it into a neighboring country. If that doesn’t work, another 75 million buckets and mops are waiting to go to work. We expect the work will be slow and deliberate involving entire families, but the beach will look better than ever when finished. At this time, buses are leaving Arizona crammed with workers and we expect them on the beach by dawn. When the job is finished we are going to have a gigantic ceremony on the sparkling clean beach and grant everyone full citizenship and all the rights thereof. Then they can all return to Arizona and vote all those white crackers out of Office.”

The State of Alabama, on the other hand, cutting off its nose to spite its face, has refused to let any Mexicans cross the state lines and help out. Instead, a group of fat dopey white people are going to sit in the fly infested stench of dead oily sea life and complain that “der ain’t no one talkin’ in no danged anglish nomores.”

Author: TawdrySoup.Com

I am a satire writer from the middle of nowhere. My work appears all over the internet. Please visit my website www.tawdrysoup.com where we give away millions of dollars every day! CHEERS!

6 thoughts on “Obama Offers Citizenship to Mexicans Who Help Clean Up Oil Spill

  1. I would like to inform whom it may concern that no i did not have children i couldn’t afford. I believe that would have been stupid. I believe everybody should make a life for themselves first, get a career, build up a sensible bank account, buy a car, buy a house you yourself can pay for, then have sex with someone you really care for, and then make a sensible number of babies. Thats being a responsible person. And you will feel better about yourself and your life without making yourself believe your better than other people just to feel important. My above reply has the word tryed. The word should be trying. I like to correct my work when i can. There are a lot of people mostly men paying out of their #&* because they had to many children with to many people and their life is #$&*.

  2. The stroke of political genius was the clown G.W. Bush making some wacked out trade deal in 2005 that makes the American people solely responsible for the better comfortable life for all of Nazico (Mexico). That was when the uncontrollable flood of invading Nazicans started. As they got to their appointed designations in the U.S. that had been handed to them in Nazico. They were to go to a bank sign some papers with an X for a house loan they wouldn’t be responsible for and move right in. Then they were to go to the pubic assistance office for that city and get a check, foodstamps and whatever else this office is offering these special people. I also saw on two different occasions bank tellers handing over so many bundles of bills to two of these precious people it looked like a bank robbery. Its no wonder these people now feel like they are the greatest people on earth. And its now the American peoples job to keep them feeling that way. If these people believe they can’t be illegal and breaking the law running over the border screaming RACIST then they will all believe they can’t break the law no matter what they do. Everytime over the past five years any American or Americans tryed to stand in the way of this insane invasion these Americans were treated like #$&*. And they all were called a racist simply because the American or Americans didn’t like being walked on like they had a kick me sign on their backs. When this bill Arizona put out after Arizona had enough of the crime spree these precious people were causing. Al “The Whitie Hater” Sharpton quickly hit the air waves preaching “racial profiling”. This bill has nothing in it to justify the use of these words. It specifies “illegal immigrants”. There is no mention of African Americans, Nazicans, black or brown people. As we all know there are illegal immigrants from other countries just NOT in the 10’s of millions as there is coming from Nazico. The Great Breeder that wrote this article trying to degrade the southern language and make a total doofuses out of the southerners should put more work into their attacks. What they wrote makes no sense and sounds retarded. Also if we look around the U.S. now days we all can see who the fat pig people are. The word racist was never intended to become a magic word for dark skin people to use against whitie. And only their magic word to use. I remember when Americans did what they could do to make a life for themselves in this country never knowing that one day they would be forced to hand over their good fortune to a people that spent the past 50 years breeding their country to death. And now they have the right to destroy the United States the same way. If the Nazicans would have spent as must time prospering in their country as they have popping out babies they wouldn’t have to be marching in American streets making ridiculous demands. Also Nazican laws are more like the Nazis or Communist laws than any American law or laws could ever be. So the Nazican is also a hypocrite as well as a racist. My Website http://churchofthegreathunab-ku.weebly.com

  3. What?!!!!!! Instead of this “stroke of political genius” why don’t he put the people that are fisherman who have lost their livelihood to work….. not a bunch of illegal aliens.

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