Category: Science & Technologizzy
Theoretical Physicist Fails to Impress Americas Got Talent Judges with Wormhole Act
CHICAGO, Illinois (GlossyNews) — Things got a little strange Wednesday night in Chicago when a one-man act by the name of Arcus Temporis came on stage armed only with a chalkboard and a piece of chalk and an eraser. “What…
BP’s Neverending Flow of Ideas on How to Stop the Oil Spill
MOBILE, Alabama (GlossyNews) — In their never ending effort to cap the bottomless Gulf oil leak, those ever creative minds at BP are coming up with endless new possibilities to shut it down. Their highest level officials and engineers have…
Pack of Gray Wolves Hunted Down Like Animals
BUTTE, Montana – The surviving members of a pack of gray wolves have claimed innocence in the ongoing battle between sheep ranchers and environmentalists, after an entire flock of sheep was found dead without any sign of wolves in the…
Shoes to Power Next Generation of Euro- ‘Smart’ Phones
LONDON, United Kingdom (GlossyNews) — Ever dream you were Maxwell Smart and had to reach Agent 99 in time to save her from a fate worse than death, only to find your cell phone dead, instead?
Cell Phone Jammer Hits the Street
SEATTLE, Washington (GlossyNews) — Instant riches have been bestowed upon Freedom From Cellular Company, the inventor of the new, anti-cell phone jamming device called “The Silencer”. This fresh creation shuts down any irritating cell phones in the users vicinity making…
Chinese Government Says Yes to I-Ching, No to iPhone 4
BEIJING, China (GlossyNews) — Although the Chinese government has allowed consumers in Mainland China to own earlier versions of the iPhone, they are now cracking down saying that the iPhone 4 is too advanced and could bring more harm than…
Some Other Things You Didn’t Know Facebook Could Do
INTERWEBS, Cyberspace (GlossyNews) — It has recently come to the attention of many Facebook users that there are things going on by Facebook management that (1) they didn’t authorize; and (2) they don’t really care about as long as they…
Angry Customer returns I-Phone
CORNUCOPIA, California (GlossyNews) — Tech stocks are expected to open sharply lower tomorrow in reaction to the disturbing news from England. While it initially seemed Apple’s latest version of the I-phone was another unqualified triumph, hopes are now quickly fading….
BP Creates Culinary Division to Sell Turtle Meat
CHALMETTE, Louisiana (GlossyNews) — Add abysmal stock prices to the $20 billion escrow fund and BP’s existing $2.35 billion clean up tab, and you begin to realize how quickly deep pockets grow shallow. The Deep Horizon oil spill in the…
Cuban Refugee Dredged from Oil Slick, Cleaned, Deported
GRAND ISLE, La.-A team of marine biologists recovered 120 specimens from the rapidly spreading oil spill off the coast of Louisiana Wednesday.
The team, comprised of staff and students from several Gulf Coast universities, volunteered to assist clean-up efforts while studying environmental impacts. While cleaning feathers and fur with dish detergent, Anne Fullerton, a student at Southern University in Baton Rouge, discovered what turned out to be a Mexican attempting to enter the U.S. illegally.