Some Other Things You Didn’t Know Facebook Could Do

INTERWEBS, Cyberspace (GlossyNews) — It has recently come to the attention of many Facebook users that there are things going on by Facebook management that (1) they didn’t authorize; and (2) they don’t really care about as long as they can post their most intimate secrets on their “walls.”

Some users though are realizing that they don’t really want the hassle of trying to figure out what it is that Facebook is doing behind their backs with their accounts, and millions are taking down their sites. But for those brave souls who continue to put their trust and faith in Facebook, you need to know that there are literally thousands of things Facebook can do that you may not know about–some are helpful and some, not so much. Here’s just a small sampling.

Facebook can:

Record how many times you use the toilet.

Pet sit your dog (it doesn’t do cats).

Bowl a perfect 300.

Make a killer apple-tini.

Make out with you.

Play GameBoy…backwards.

Rat you out to your boss for using Facebook on company time if you threaten to take your page down.

Tell you exactly where Michael Jackson is buried.

Fish…with live worms.

Attend the church of its choice.

Bake a cake…from scratch.

And finally, lest you doubt the totally awesome power that Facebook has endowed itself with, consider this:

Facebook can scrub the Internet within seconds of a negative Facebook story being posted about it and remove it, leaving nooooooooooo

Author: P. Beckert

P. Beckert's is one voice vying for frequency room at the top of the opinion dial. Angered and bewildered by many of today’s events, P. Beckert uses humor as a tool to fight against an onslaught of stupidity and ignorance that seems to permeate the airwaves and pollute the sensitivities of a once brilliant nation. You can find more at