Carville Named “Right Wing Threat Assessment Czar”
Washington – Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano introduced James Carville today as the Department’s new “Right Wing Threat Assessment Czar.” A political science professor at Tulane, Carville is inexplicably married to Republican strategist Mary Matalin.
Social Security Poor-a-scopes
At Glossy News we find it perpetually important to bring you the news that means the most to you, whether as news briefs, satire, lymerick or even horoscope. With that in mind we’d like to review some of the changes…
War Criminals Pack Wimbledon Stands
The Centre Court at Wimbledon last Sunday saw a plethora of famous faces and porcine celebrity past-its packed into the stands to watch the men’s singles final between Roger Federer of Cuckoo Clock Land and Andy Roddick of the good…
12yo Boy “Not Father” According Reason, Fact
Alfie McScrunt, the boy who was reported to have fathered a child when he was 12 years old, is not the baby’s father, DNA tests have shown. Alfie, now 13, of Smegmadale’s Sink or Swim Housing Estate, told the ‘underage…
Middle East Caught Harboring WWII-Era Nazi
Pope Benny, the all-new German Mark XVI model, has left Rome for a visit to the Middle East – the first tour of the holy places of Christendom by a Pope since Christianity lost Jerusalem to the great unwashed Islamic…
Fat Gits Causing Global Warming
This week’s Dogwanker’s Review headline reveals that being overweight is bad for the environment as well as your health, according to the results of a leaked survey financed by the Ministry for Wasting Money. Researchers at the London School for…
Crush on Dora of Explorer Fame Finally Reality
Like any good American, I watch an inordinate, almost embarrassing amount of television. Personally, I’m partial to cartoons and shows involving adults dressed as oversized animals, typically dancing around while pretending to teach some lesson or other, but what I’m…
Billy Bob Thornton Eager to Pick Fights, Expose Inner Dick
Billy Bob Thornton is an Oscar winning writer and Oscar nominated actor, though he’s perhaps best known for his position as the one-time daddy figure husband of Angelina Jolie. He’s also known by literally hundred of the world’s citizens as…
Matrix Made Keanu Reeves 1/3rd Billionaire
If you’re a big fan of The Matrix, or The Matrix Reloaded, you likely assume Keanu Reeves earned a hefty Hollywood sum, and you’d be partly right. He did earn a massive pile of money, but it was more like…
Anybody Realize How Much Keanu Made Off the Matrix?
If you’re a big fan of The Matrix, or The Matrix Reloaded, you likely assume Keanu Reeves earned a hefty Hollywood sum, and you’d be partly right. He did earn a massive pile of money, but it was more like…