Branson, Virgin to Build Ski Resort in Florida

London (GlossyNews) — A spokesman for Richard Branson today announced the entrepreneur’s plans to build a world class ski resort in Florida to take advantage of the changing climate. Stanley Kidd, in a press conference in London laid out Branson’s goal, “Richard wants to turn this whole mess of global warming into something we can enjoy and can help out the economy.” “Richard says it is time to stop whining about global warming and and actually DO something … to make money. of course.”

“We see Brevard County in Florida as one of the key tourist venues of the future as the snow will begin to pile up there in record proportions. Also meterologists say that the snow produced on shore from salt water sources will be some of the best on earth for skiing and snowboarding,” Kidd continued.

Already condo prices in the region have begun to go up, causing speculation that the fixed income retirees may no loinger be able to compete with the buying power of the Generation X, Y and Generation Unknown pocketbooks.

“Granny either needs to sack up and get her board on, or move back to Jersey,” said one young snowboarder who was on a buying trip in Brevard County last week. Virgin Atlantic is putting on special investment and real estate exploration packages to help bring in investors and planners.

Kidd also announced an official grand opening of the planned resort site early in March. “We’re going to really bring down the house with some fine acts, like Laura Viers and some others I can’t mention. There will be board vendors and clothing vendors and even some demonstration runs on manmade snow if mother nature doesn’t come through for us.”

Mother nature should come through as Kissimmee and Orlando are on schedule to receive a predicted 14 inches of snow in the next two weeks.

Author: Reverend Mike

@rev_rend Reverend Mike is a contributing editor for Glossy News. He was a Combat Chaplain with the Soviet Red Army in the 1980s. A career which he describes as an 'unappreciated field of endeavor'. He later worked as an Information Officer with the TASS News Agency on assignment in White Sands, NM. The collapse of the Soviet Union left him unemployed and homeless. He survived by selling magazine subscriptions door to door disguised as a college coed. He was later kidnapped and taken to Shanghai where he was sold into a white slavery ring. He lived as a concubine for a Japanese music industry mogul until 2002 when a wardrobe malfunction revealed his true identity. He found himself homeless and unemployed again, with only his collection of Polaroid snap shots. Reverend Mike has since scraped together a meagre living by blackmailing Japanese industrialists. Reverend Mike lives in a small 5 bedroom penthouse flat overlooking Central Park in New York City. His hobbies include exotic motorcycles, supermodels and owning small nations....