TSA Takes “Security” Out of Name

Washington DC (GlossyNews) — The US Transportation Security Administration today announced effective February 1, 2010, the Administration will take the word “Security” out of its title, becoming simply the US Transportation Administration.

The official spokesman for the Administration, Roger ‘ Pink ‘ Floyd, told the Glossy News this morning, “The whole security thing is a lot harder than we originally thought. We think it is just beyond the scope of services we can offer at this time.”

The TSA has been under fire for a number of recent security breaches, the latest in which a man was able to walk through an exit door into a terminal area and back out a half hour later, without detection.

The TSA feels that the other services it provides still justifies its huge budget and personnel levels. Floyd stated, “There is a lot we do besides security. For instance we slow down the traffic going into the terminals. We help people repack their bags. We assist people in ensuring their laptop batteries are still working. Not to mention that many people have bought slip on shoes, and new socks to go through the security checkpoints — helping the economy.”

When asked who would take over the security aspects of air travel, Floyd remarked, “Honestly, is there really a security issue? It was kind of blown out of proportion by the Bush Administration. Let’s face it, we haven’t really enforced any security and nothing bad has happened.”

Author: Reverend Mike

@rev_rend Reverend Mike is a contributing editor for Glossy News. He was a Combat Chaplain with the Soviet Red Army in the 1980s. A career which he describes as an 'unappreciated field of endeavor'. He later worked as an Information Officer with the TASS News Agency on assignment in White Sands, NM. The collapse of the Soviet Union left him unemployed and homeless. He survived by selling magazine subscriptions door to door disguised as a college coed. He was later kidnapped and taken to Shanghai where he was sold into a white slavery ring. He lived as a concubine for a Japanese music industry mogul until 2002 when a wardrobe malfunction revealed his true identity. He found himself homeless and unemployed again, with only his collection of Polaroid snap shots. Reverend Mike has since scraped together a meagre living by blackmailing Japanese industrialists. Reverend Mike lives in a small 5 bedroom penthouse flat overlooking Central Park in New York City. His hobbies include exotic motorcycles, supermodels and owning small nations....