Supreme Court Rules Constitution Unconstitutional
Washington, D.C. (GlossyNews) — What began as a commemorative event to honor the exhibition of an original copy of the United States Constitution at the new Capitol Visitor Center, quickly escalated to an impromptu ruling by the Supreme Court that…
80-year-old Burglar Gets Life In California Prison
TORRANCE, CA (GlossyNews) — An 80-year-old woman with a criminal record stretching back to 1955 has been sentenced to die in state prison for the theft of petty cash from a local temporary staffing office. Activists have criticized the judge’s…
Largest Ever Coprolites Found Half Buried in Palin’s Back Yard
Last week, while Sarah Palin was busy making her rounds on the Tea Party circuit, expounding her views on who is and who is not a true Patriot, a group of Palintologists were busy digging up dirt in Palin’s own…
Dairy Apologizes for “Milf” Misunderstanding
CITY OF INDUSTRY, CA (GlossyNews) — Toward the end of World War II in 1945, the Stueve family of California founded Alta Dena Dairy. Throughout the 1950s, it earned a reputation as one of the most innovative farms with its…
Reality TV Threatens Realness Of Real Reality
Reality shows have created an artificial reality that threatens to overtake real reality. Television execs have created a monster and loosed it upon the public. Reality shows plunge real people into an artificial situation, much like a cook shocks vegetables….
President Obama Set to Renew Inaugural Vow
WASHINGTON, D.C. – In an effort to revive his flagging presidency, Barack Obama plans to renew his oath of office in a special bipartisan ceremony to be held at the Washington Monument early this spring. Falling somewhere between a full-blown…
Controversial Study Finds Jews Did Not Kill Jesus, Crucifixion Did
SALT LAKE CITY, UT (GlossyNews) — There are approximately 38,000 denominations of Christianity in existence today, making it the most widely practiced religion in the world with over 2.1 billion adherents. And although each sect agrees on the fundamental assumption…
Pot Growers Hire PR Firm to Develop Marijuana Marketing Plan
Los Angeles, CA – “The times, they are a changin’, again,” remarked Henry “Pops” Champion to a group of medical marijuana clinic owners and pot growers who all agree that it is time to finally pull out all the stops…
Kevin Smith Made to Purchase Two Seats at Sushi Bar
LOS ANGELES – The next time Kevin Smith visits If It Smells Like Fish, his favorite sushi bar in L.A., he will have to purchase two seats. According to a source close to Mr. Smith—or as close to him as…
David Cassidy More Popular than Sarah Palin?
Chicago, IL (GlossyNews) — The Republican National Committee (RNC), in a move that now appears to have backfired, recently conducted a number of related polls designed to demonstrate the popularity of Sarah Palin. The RNC refuses to release the data…