Search Results for: obama
Likud Party Withdraws Support, Obama Government Collapses
WASHINGTON, D.C. – After several long hours of wrangling over the type of missiles to employ when the United States strikes Tehran next week, the Likud Party withdrew its support from President Barack Obama’s governing coalition, causing it to fall…
Dozens Trampled Over Obamacare Holiday Sale
In what is already being called the worst accident since Walmart’s Black ThurFriday Sale, dozens of people were trampled when crowds broke through library barriers trying to take advantage of Obama’s “Buy One Get One Free” holiday health care plan…
Obamacare Didn’t Falter, but was Crashed by Attacks; DDOS & GOP
As sure as the moneyed-interests opposed Obama to the tune of nearly a billion dollars in 2012, the same interests have come back to crash the ACA (Obamacare) on two fronts, and they’ve done a masterful job of it. The…
Obama Meets with Republicans; Shows Them His Spine
President Barack Obama finally sat down with John Boehner and Mitch McConnell to discuss how to end the stalemate over the funding of government. Unfortunately, neither side could make the concessions needed to end the standoff. Upon leaving the meeting…
Obama Lets His Bad Self Out All Over The NRA’s LaPierre
It was a phone call that President Obama didn’t want to make, but he knew he would eventually have to. He also knew that it would do little good, but that it had to be made anyway. So, on Wednesday,…
Senator Cruz Collapses During Affordable Care Act Filibuster, Needs Obamacare to Recover
While attempting a filibuster in Congress to stamp out the Affordable Care Act, snarkily known as the Obamacare bill by conservatives, Republican Senator Ted Cruz collapsed 15 hours into the epic attempt to derail the legislation. Cruz, an ardent Tea…
Obama to cut education funding in “polarizing” move
In a highly polarizing move, President Obama announced he is using his executive powers to cut federal education funding by 50% in order to install polarized windows in the White House. When reached for comment, President Obama said: “In order…
Obama constituency overwhelmingly supports war with Syria
Despite a Reuters/Ipsos poll showing that only 9% of Americans support military intervention in Syria, the White House today assured the public that a more recent and reliable poll leaves no doubt that the President’s constituency favors war. The poll…
Historic compromise – Snowden and Obama both to stand trial
This reporter has learned from confidential sources that have top security clearance and a ticket to Hong Kong that there will be a major compromise in the Snowden case. Mr. Snowden, who has been indicted for espionage, theft and conversion…
Scandal: Obama Admits Pansexual Affair
WASHINGTON – Tears and beers were the currency in the West Wing as news broke that President Barack Obama confessed to a “torrid and greasy” pansexual affair. Obama could scarcely hold back the tears as he recounted to the press…