Obama to cut education funding in “polarizing” move

In a highly polarizing move, President Obama announced he is using his executive powers to cut federal education funding by 50% in order to install polarized windows in the White House.

When reached for comment, President Obama said:

“In order to better serve our country, I need to have a clearer view of our future.”

Installing Polarized windows in the White House is expected to reduce the glare in the Oval Office by 80%. This way the President can actually read the bills he is signing in to law.

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