Senator Cruz Collapses During Affordable Care Act Filibuster, Needs Obamacare to Recover

While attempting a filibuster in Congress to stamp out the Affordable Care Act, snarkily known as the Obamacare bill by conservatives, Republican Senator Ted Cruz collapsed 15 hours into the epic attempt to derail the legislation.

Cruz, an ardent Tea Partyer, is rabid that the congressional bill that would create universal health care in the U.S. should be defeated. However, after 15 hours into his blockage of any action by Congress, he suddenly clutched his chest and passed to the floor.

An ambulance immediately appeared at the scene and whisked the half conscious Senator away. When the ambulance crew realized who he was they, being regular working class blokes who were having as tough a time in the present economy as everyone else, spoke amongst themselves and decided to let the dear politician see for himself what conditions were like for those without the connections or money for hospitalization that Washington big shots have.

Ignoring his Senatorial insurance that he would have for the rest of his life and for his family they took him to Washington D.C.’s charity hospital where the Senator had to lie on the gurney in the lobby with forty other people who had been there for hours already waiting to see a doctor.

During this time Mr. Cruz babbled about “Going to the head of the line…..being entitled……who are all these raggedy people………I need to see someone this minute!” and other such dribblings that were routinely ignored by the staff and imbued a keen sense of mirth in the other patients ahead of him.

Fortunately for himself and the other people waiting in line with broken bones, knocked out teeth, stab wounds, shrapnel fragments and other such lovely health intrusions Mr. Cruz eventually fell into a coma saving them from the added annoyance of his whining.

He awoke days later on dirty sheets in a room with three other patients- a heroin addict going through withdrawal, a prostitute who had just acquired Aids and a four year old boy shot through the liver from a drive by shooting, all of whom took an immense interest in all the get well presents and food left by family members and friends who had come by and quickly left when they realized they were surrounded by people who were not a part of their comfort zone of the upper 2%..

Interestingly, after surviving his hospital ordeal ,Senator Cruz had a St. Peter like transformation and became an ardent supporter of the Affordable Care Act.

Also interestingly, although Mr. Cruz was born in Canada, is half Hispanic and his father had fought for Castro in Cuba, the Republicans have never asked to see his birth certificate.

Author: rfreed

I was born and I died. Being a disembodied entity makes it very cheap for me to get by. Not having to worry about eating or having a place to live gives me a lot of freedom to squander my time writing occasionally funny articles. See more almost funny stuff at