Rupert Murdoch Will NOT Visit An Ashram
A spokesperson for Rupert Murdoch was asked yesterday for Mr. Murdock’s response to Paul Ryan as candidate for GOP vice-president, and received the reply, “Right! Absolutely right!” Murdoch apparently credits Ryan for saving a tottering Romney, tweeting “Thank God!” in…
Budget Cuts Threaten U.S. Readiness for Unlikely War
Pentagon worried about ability to defend nation against improbable attack by indeterminate enemy. WASHINGTON – Facing potential budget cuts of $1 trillion over ten years as a result of the U.S. Congress’s failure to agree on a deficit reduction plan,…
UK Coalition Sharing Like Sisters
Desperate to quash rumours of further cracks in the UK government the first coalition in 65 years has released a statement ensuring the continuing cooperation of the two parties. The statement from Number 10 Downing Street, issued this morning, says…
U.S. Congress Sets Fixed Price on Free Speech
A bill explicitly stating that American citizens will be allocated 1 second of free speech for every $10,000 they make a year has made its way through the Senate subcommittee process. The following is the official transcript of the final…
Is GlossyNews Editor Brian K. White Secretly a Moderate?
An ultra-conservative friend of mine recently wrote to me saying that he’s read my stories, but secretly suspects that I might not be as left-leaning as I come across in some of those articles. To him, I said “you’re probably…
Leaked Tax Returns Reveal Romney Barely Scraping by on Food Stamps
WASHINGTON D.C. – In what could prove a decisive blow in the race for the White House, newly released Tax documents have revealed that presumptive Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney is just barely scraping by on food stamps. Romney’s reluctance…
Traffic Light Nutritional Coding System Given Green Light
A new system of coding fat, sugar and salt content has been approved and would mean that all pre-packed food would have to display a colour coded guide on the front of the package. Red would mean high in fat,…
Obama Thinking A Mohawk Might Help w/ Campaign Donations
Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) Bobak Ferdowsi, the “Mohawk guy” who worked on NASA’s Mars Curiosity rover landing has a famous new fan. Last week, President Obama said he’s been thinking about emulating him and having his Chicago barber style his…
Mitt Romney Accepts Monkey on Back
Mitt Romney announced today that he will accept the Republican nomination for President wearing a STAPLES logo stitched to his back. “And no, my friends,” Romney joked to the partisan crowd. “The logo won’t actually be stapled to my back….