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Recount On Already Controversial Presidential Election Because Of Illegal Zombie Votes

Recount On Already Controversial Presidential Election Because Of Illegal Zombie Votes

A recount has been demanded on the already scandalous Bush/Gore 2000 Presidential election by Democrats because it has been discovered that illegal zombies have been allowed to vote.

Apparently in their over-exuberance to get people out to vote Republican campaigners accidentally (or, perhaps intentionally as the Left insists) signed up the living dead.

Being dead, zombies, as with most dead, can not legally vote. Also it is difficult to distinguish many Republicans from the dead to begin with.

Democrats, usually on the side of minority groups, this time have claimed that the zombies, being no longer human, do not have the right to vote.

Because they are cannibalistic, zombies tend not to differentiate between people of different politics or races as all are equally edible. In fact, many zombies prefer the darker meats which depletes a lot of the Democratic voter support base.

Democrats also say most zombies don’t have enough thinking matter themselves to distinguish between parties. Some leftists even insist that they more often choose Republican because it is a common trait of zombies to be conservative as it helps conserve what little energy they have left.

Leftists also claim that zombies tend to target Democratic brains more because they are softer. Republican brains tend to be dried up, and tasteless.

Interviewing zombies to get to the bottom of what happened may prove difficult due to they’re being largely inarticulate. Many cannot say anything beyond the standard “AAAARGGHH!”. There is also the problem of the interviewer often being devoured by the zombie before the end of the interview.

One interviewer was found in his office lying on the ground with his brains missing. Police believe this could be due to a zombie attack or because being brainless is a condition affecting many interviewers any way.

Confounding it further is the fact that in some parts of the country it is hard to distinguish the living from the dead.

Parts of LA are so Goth that morticians themselves have a hard time discerning. In some neighborhoods of New York City the difference between the living and the dead is very hard to define. Republicans themselves often have a hard time distinguishing the dead from the still living in their party.

To prevent this happening again in the future all voters will be required to show an ID and take a blood test to see if they even have any blood.

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- who has written 552 posts on GlossyNews.com.

I was born and I died.
Being a disembodied entity makes it very cheap for me to get by. Not having to worry about eating or having a place to live gives me a lot of freedom to squander my time writing occasionally funny articles.

See more almost funny stuff at http://inyear252509.wordpress.com/


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2 Responses to “Recount On Already Controversial Presidential Election Because Of Illegal Zombie Votes”

  1. Dave Martin says:

    And now it looks like the Republicans are running zombies as candidates.

  2. rfreed says:

    I always thought of them as being more like Borgs- half corporate machines, almost half human.

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