Category: Politics
Handlers Say Biden Will Be On a ‘Soothing Lithium Drip’ For The VP Debate
Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) After publically claiming ‘it’s only 30 more days to the erection,’ Joe Biden handlers have taken matters into their own hands and have placed the Vice President into the care of the White House Physician for…
Paul Ryan Devastated by Ayn Rand Revelation
During a campaign stop in Virginia Friday, Republican vice-presidential candidate Paul Ryan was rocked by the revelation that Ayn Rand’s books were fiction. He had intended to make a quick walk thru of a small locally owned book store when…
Vice-President Biden Begins Doping for Debate
Last week the big news for the 2012 presidential election was the worse-than-expected performance of President Obama in his match-up with former Governor, and Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney. Although Obama was able to firmly demonstrate that he did have…
Romney “Apologizes” to Obama After Debate Debacle
WASHINGTON DC- Presidential hopeful Mitt Romney sort of apologized to the president this week after the crushing debate performance he delivered, though it remains unclear as to whether Governor Romney actually knows what an apology is. Although the political arena…
Mitt Romney Admits to Masturbating
GOP Presidential candidate and devout Mormon Mitt Romney admitted today that he ‘experimented’ once with masturbation when he was in college. “It was a stupid youthful experimentation”, Romney explained. “I’m not proud of it, I didn’t ejaculate, I didn’t enjoy…
Romney Post Debate Strategy: Flip-Flop More
The first presidential debate has inspired Romney campaign officials to change their overall strategy in order to gain a higher percentage of the upcoming vote. After demonstrating his ability to completely drop previous positions, and offer new policies without concern…
Republicans Crucify Jesus for Offering Free Healthcare
BILOXI – People were shocked when a strange light was seen in the sky yesterday. Many wondered if it was a meteor. However, the light that fell to earth was none other than Jesus Christ himself. The Christian leader landed…
These Are The Guys Who Are Going To Set The Nation Straight?
Let me see if I got this straight: We have a national election going on. Only two guys are really running in it. Both are spending obscene amounts of money to campaign for it. Mostly other people’s money. Both are…
Tea Party Demonstrators Call For Lower Taxes, Smaller Vocabulary
WASHINGTON D.C. – Throughout a rousing rally on Capitol Hill Tuesday, hundreds of Tea Party demonstrators – voicing their disapproval of Barack Obama’s presidency – championed the idea of lowering taxes and downsizing the nation’s vocabulary. Speaking over a bullhorn,…
Cookie Monster “Loses Cookies” at Local Grocery
NEW YORK–Sesame Street star Cookie Monster was admitted to an unnamed psychiatric center following a cookie incident at Hooper’s Store. The beloved character filled twenty shopping carts with cookies before being approached by store personnel. Onlookers described the puppet as…