During a campaign stop in Virginia Friday, Republican vice-presidential candidate Paul Ryan was rocked by the revelation that Ayn Rand’s books were fiction.
He had intended to make a quick walk thru of a small locally owned book store when he stumbled upon the very books he bases his political philosophies on in the fiction section.
While this was a widely known fact, it appears that the revelation truly impacted his self confidence. He was quickly ushered back to his tour bus by his security detail and was not available for immediate comment.
After being questioned by several reporters at the event, a spokesman for the campaign would only offer this comment under the condition that their name not be revealed.
“This discovery has been very hard on our candidate. He has followed these books in his relentless desire to save our country and he was not emotionally prepared to have to deal with this type of information at this point in the campaign. He was repeatedly uttering that he now understood how it felt to be a Scientologist.”
The campaign could not provide information on whether Congressman Ryan would suspend his involvement in the campaign at this time or continue on until the general election.
This is a developing story and we will update you as more information becomes available.
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Is this supposed to be funny? Clearly Mike Kelly has no clue how to construct a humorous situation. See, there must be some element of truth to it; Non-fiction works by Ayn Rand:
For the New Intellectual: The Philosophy of Ayn Rand (1961). New York: Random House.
The Virtue of Selfishness: A New Concept of Egoism (1964). New York: New American Library. Includes essays by Nathaniel Branden. Introduction was revised in 1970.
Capitalism: The Unknown Ideal (1966). New York: New American Library. Includes essays by Nathaniel Branden, Alan Greenspan, and Robert Hessen. Expanded second edition published by New American Library in 1967. Introduction was revised in 1970.
The Romantic Manifesto: A Philosophy of Literature (1969). New York: The World Publishing. Expanded second edition published by New American Library in 1975.
The New Left: The Anti-Industrial Revolution (1971). New York: New American Library. Expanded second edition published by New American Library in 1975. See also Return of the Primitive below.
Introduction to Objectivist Epistemology (1979). New York: New American Library. ISBN 0-451-61751-7. Includes an essay by Leonard Peikoff. A booklet of Rand’s title essay was published by The Objectivist in 1967. Expanded second edition published by Meridian in 1990, edited by Harry Binswanger and Leonard Peikoff, ISBN 0-453-00724-4.
Philosophy: Who Needs It (1982). Leonard Peikoff, ed. New York: Bobbs-Merrill. ISBN 0-672-52725-1.
The Voice of Reason: Essays in Objectivist Thought (1989). Leonard Peikoff, ed. New York: New American Library. ISBN 0-453-00634-5. Includes essays by Leonard Peikoff and Peter Schwartz.
The Ayn Rand Column: Written for the Los Angeles Times (1991). Peter Schwartz, ed. Oceanside, California: Second Renaissance Books. ISBN 1-56114-099-6. Expanded second edition published by Second Renaissance Books in 1998, ISBN 1-56114-292-1. A collection of twenty-six newspaper columns that Rand wrote for the Los Angeles Times from 1962 on, as well as six essays (with an additional three in the revised edition).
Ayn Rand’s Marginalia: Her Critical Comments on the Writings of Over 20 Authors (1995). Robert Mayhew, ed. New Milford, Connecticut: Second Renaissance Books. ISBN 1-56114-250-6
Letters of Ayn Rand (1995). Michael S. Berliner, ed. New York: Dutton. ISBN 0-525-93946-6. Includes an introduction by Leonard Peikoff.
Journals of Ayn Rand (1997). David Harriman, ed. New York: Dutton. ISBN 0-525-94370-6. Includes a foreword by Leonard Peikoff.
The Ayn Rand Reader (1999) Gary Hull and Leonard Peikoff, eds. New York: Plume. ISBN 0-452-28040-0.
Return of the Primitive: The Anti-Industrial Revolution (1999). Peter Schwartz, ed. New York: Meridian. ISBN 0-452-01184-1. Revised edition of Rand’s earlier book, The New Left, and includes essays by Schwartz.
Russian Writings on Hollywood (1999). Michael S. Berliner, ed.; Dina Garmong, trans. Los Angeles: Ayn Rand Institute Press. ISBN 0-9625336-3-7. Reproduces and translates two booklets previously published in Russia without Rand’s knowledge.
Why Businessmen Need Philosophy (1999). Richard E. Ralston, ed. Los Angeles: Ayn Rand Institute Press. ISBN 0-9625336-2-9. Includes essays by Leonard Peikoff, Harry Binswanger, Edwin A. Locke, John Ridpath, Richard M. Salsman, and Jaana Woiceshyn.
The Art of Fiction: A Guide for Writers and Readers (2000). Tore Boeckmann, ed. New York: Plume. ISBN 0-452-28154-7. Includes an introduction by Leonard Peikoff.
The Art of Non-Fiction: A Guide for Writers and Readers (2001). Robert Mayhew, ed. New York: Plume. ISBN 0-452-28231-4. Includes an introduction by Peter Schwartz.
Ayn Rand Answers: The Best of Her Q & A (2005). Robert Mayhew, ed. New York: New American Library. ISBN 0-451-21665-2.
Oh yeah, (da Silva) your post was way funnier!
Wow, my first troll! I was afraid nobody would read my articles, but now I feel really, really good inside.
Get a life Mike Kelly! Many of Rand’s quotes are truisms of which our Founding Fathers wrote themselves. The cold hard facts are that many of her prophecies have come , to ignore what has happened would be naive For some to suggest that one has to adhere to all things someone else believes in order to agree with some is a sniveling puerile view that life is ‘all or nothing’. In other words, it fits Liberals to a ‘T’.
Defending your ideals on a satire website, glowbob t-shirts for everyone! I feel bad now that I didn’t put as much effort into writing it as the people who are trying to defend her. And I expected the Scientologists to object.
As usual, left wing lies and smears. Ayn Rand founded an entire school of philosophy known as Objectivism and wrote several books about it.
It was a good jab Mike.
You are just getting set upon by the same rabid people who think that everyone should be a Republican, that only they are right and are out to squash any dissent because they are out for political control and think that attacking anyone who speaks otherwise should be immediately repressed. It is effective sometimes. They certainly got rid of the Occupy Wall Street Movement with their organized bitching.
rfreed, I feel I’m doing my part for society just knowing that for a while they aren’t out walking our streets.
The article was the troll, da Silver was the response. I wouldn’t have wasted my time. If her fiction didn’t contain any truth, nobody would be scared of what she says.
Good story Mike..Keep up the good work and don’t worry about trolls. Besides, the trolls are real short and ugly anyway.
Thanks bargis. Like my father told me, “Kid, you’re not the kind of person who will attract many friends, so make a lot of enemies and at least someone will show up for your funeral.”
I’m a member of the Grand Old Party and found this article very funny. A good read Mike, especially in this tense political atmosphere. I thought this was tastefully written.
Interesting Mike.
My dad always told me to do in life whatever I’m best at.
So I’m an asshole.
Stupid column, Kelly. And stupid ugly bargis.
Jack Crawford said “The article was the troll, da Silver was the response. I wouldn’t have wasted my time. If her fiction didn’t contain any truth, nobody would be scared of what she says.”
Uh, dude. Hate to break it to you but nobody is scared of what she says. You guys really do have a persecution delusion, don’t you? It’s like the imaginary war on Christmas.
DanRio, thanks dad.
Thanks surram for the heads up! We were wondering if you were stupid as well as ugly. One good thing, really stupid girls like ugly men and since there’s more ugly girls than hot ones, you’re probably all set for a date tonight!
Well, that is if you like girls.