Category: Top Stories
Four Reasons You’d Be Crazy Not to Go See Avatar
I’m not on the take or anything, I’m just a big fan of this unique film, and one who loves it quite a lot. 1 – Because, Statistically, You Haven’t Seen It Yet Even though it’s breaking records left and…
Collectible Quarters Offered as 3rd World Nation Pay
Philadelphia, PA (GlossyNews): Officials from the United States Mint announced today the inception of a new commemorative quarter program based on the popular “50 States Quarter Collection.” The program, already expanded to include all United States’ sovereign territories, the Presidents…
Hoekstra Sets Preemptive 2010 Yemeni Strike
Lansing, MI – Rep. Pete Hoekstra (R-Mich.) publicly stated his plans for the Michigan National Guard if he wins election as Governor in 2010: “I’ll lead a preemptive strike to Yemen. I’ve been leading on national security for the last…
Chinese Call Americans Their “Dollar Store Bitches”
In a newly released book by Chinese-American Author, Pe Yuan Yu-Smith, titled “You Buy More Yankee, OK?” Americans are finally being made privy to some of the lesser known facts about the tenuous economic relationship between China and the United…
Dick Cheney Blasts Americans for Letting Terrorists Win
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Former Vice President Dick Cheney blamed Americans yesterday for “being in bed with” terrorists. “The people of this nation are as much to blame as their pusillanimous, light-skinned president for delivering the head of democracy to the…
Gov Sanford Takes Leave After SC House Censure
Columbia, SC (GlossyNews) — Governor Mark Sanford was censured Wednesday for his inappropriate behavior and th disgrace, shame and dishonor he has brought to the Office of Governor of South Carolina during his sordid affair with an Argentine woman. Sanford…
Special Hell for CEOs Created
God Almighty in close association with Satan has created a special hell for CEO’s and other business leaders who have helped to create the present worldwide financial meltdown (it seems Satan himself couldn’t stomach the gall of these money-engorged maggots…
Alert – Redneck Right Wingers Have Learned To Type And Have Infiltrated The Internet
ALERT! ALERT! Hard right rednecks have learned to use the Internet and even more horrifyingly the comments section of Glossy News. Someone has taught them to type and in some cases even to spell. They are swiftly learning to use…
Texas Makes Good On Promise To Secede From U.S. – Joins Mexico
The Alamo, El Paso, TX The state of Texas today seceded from the United States and joined with Mexico, a nation it had once fought for independence from at the Alamo. Governor Rick Perry, disgruntled with the economic politics of…
European Union Won’t Honor Christmas Starting 2010
Brussells (GlossyNews) — According to a new policy mandated by an internal commission of the European Union, Christmas 2010, and every Christmas thereafter, will just be ‘another day’ on the calendar. A spokesperson for the Regional Policy Commission of the…