Four Reasons You’d Be Crazy Not to Go See Avatar

I’m not on the take or anything, I’m just a big fan of this unique film, and one who loves it quite a lot.

1 – Because, Statistically, You Haven’t Seen It Yet
Even though it’s breaking records left and right, only 70 million tickets have been sold worldwide. That’s barely 1/10th of a percent of all people. I know most people in my group of friends and family (you know, my calling circle) haven’t taken the time. It’s going to be in theaters for a while, but’s already been almost five-weeks, so if not now, then when?

2 – Because There’s Never Been Anything Like Avatar
This isn’t the greatest cinematic experience ever, it’s only the greatest one so far. I saw it in 2D, which was mind bogglingly beautiful. Friends of mine that have seen it in 3D can’t imagine it in merely 2D, so even I am missing out on something (which I plan to correct on Monday when I see it in its intended format.)

You may recall how epic and beautiful the new trilogy of Star Wars was, though admittedly a bit blurry and needlessly graphics-intensive. Avatar takes background beauty to a level I never imagined, and clarity to one I didn’t think possible. Every palm frond is in place, every background animation in full, living character. It’s as big as Lord of the Rings, but with an unlimited budget.

3 – Because Waiting for BluRay is silly, and Standard DVD is Pointless
BluRay is a fantastic format, especially if you have a high-end home theater with all the Dolby and other assorted bullshit, but it’s nothing like seeing it on the big screen, and the 3D will not come home to the cinematic degree. Your screen is not as big as it needs to be and you will not have the same experience. And if you just have a regular DVD player, you’re going to miss so much of what’s amazing about this film. It may still be the most stunning DVD you have in your collection, and I’m confident it will sell tremendously next Christmas, but it’s just not going to be the same.

4 – Because James Cameron Make the Most Amazing Films
If you want to forget about box office results, let’s look at the body of work, which includes The Terminator, Aliens, the groundbreaking Terminator 2, and of course Titanic. Perhaps you didn’t love these films the way the majority of movie-goers did, but you must admit that each broke remarkable ground.

And if we are going to talk about the box office, consider that Titanic outperformed its nearest box office king, Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King by 64%. LOTR-3 only brought in $1.1 Billion, while Titanic brought in $1.8 Billion… and as of today, Avatar stands at more than $1.6 billion with little sign of slowing its momentum.

That means James Cameron has the two highest grossing films of all time, sure, but more than that, his two latest films have beat the closest contender by more than half-a-billion dollars, and Avatar ain’t done yet – not by a mile.

It looks likely Avatar will become the highest grossing film of all time within a week, and the highest grossing film within the US sometime the following week.

I rarely go to see movies in the theater, but I saw Avatar opening day at 9:40am, mere days after undergoing Lasik. It was the first days of my new Superman eyes and I almost left the theater in tears. I say almost because I still can’t tear up properly to this day, but I saw everything man, I saw it all, and my new eyes did me proud. Makes me want to cry… seriously, I’m emotional thinking about it and my eyes are super dry right now. All this computer work doesn’t agree with all the not-blinking I do.

This isn’t just history in the making, though it is, this is history in the made. I can’t promise you will love it, but I can swear to you ten ways from Friday that I sure did.

Author: Brian White

Brian first began peddling his humorous wares with a series of Xerox printed books in fifth grade. Since then he's published over two thousand satire and humor articles, as well as eight stage plays, a 13-episode cable sitcom and three (terrible) screenplays. He is a freelance writer by trade and an expert in the field of viral entertainment marketing. He is the author of many of the biggest hoaxes of recent years, a shameful accomplishment in which he takes exceptional pride.