Category: Top Stories
Chevy Recalls 150,000 vehicles for Nocturnal Emissions Problem
Detroit, MI – GlossyNews.com – A worldwide recall for Corvette and Hummer vehicles has been officially announced, ending weeks of speculation by industry insiders and automotive experts. The recall addresses certain models that have been plagued, as Chairman Delany Forbes…
Paleontologists Find Mastodon Remains in Congressmen Waxman’s Paleolithic Nostrils
Washington, DC- Glossy News – (House of Representatives-Capitol Hill) Congressmen Henry Waxman (D-CA) never guessed he would be in the news for something un-related to politics, but stranger things have happened to people as strange looking as the Democratic Representative…
A Barack by Any Other Name Should Smell As Sweet
Washington, DC – Glossy News – A Barack by any other name might smell just as sweet, but there is one in Saudi Arabia that is a real stinker. When Sheik al Ghandi, a higher up in Saudi society, made…
How I Hate My Wife’s Magazines “for Women”
These woman’s magazines that my wife read are filled with well-fashioned commercials of materialistic and luxury-seeking beauty and life styles. So much that I can smell the hands of the high intellectuals who have carefully crafted these rhetoric to fool…
Stimulus Bonanza – Federal Reserve to Sell Vitamin Supplements
Jackson Hole, WY (GlossyNews): Mired with increasing signals of an unexpected economic slowdown and the possibility of a double dip recession, the Federal Reserve announced a series of “unconventional” programs it is prepared to undertake in order to stabilize the…
Entire US Psy-Ops In Iraq Must Undergo Psych Eval
Norfolk, VA – Glossy News – The entire Psy-ops division of the U.S. Army that has been on duty in Iraq since the wars beginning has been ordered to undergo psychiatric evaluation. Disturbing results have come about as a result…
Tibet’s Dalai Lama Takes Credit for Recent Chinese Earthquake
Lhasa, Tibet – Glossy News – The Dalai Lama has spoken up and taken credit for the recent earthquake that hit China. Citing recent ‘bad karma’ over the suppression of Tibet’s population, the Dalai Lama said he would pray for…
The Political Messiah Fleeces His Flock
The charismatic figure stood above the masses gathered before him ready to seduce them with his glorious speech. He had purposely chosen a historic location for the event, one whose beloved presence in the minds of the populace would lend…
Palin Declares War on China
Bouffant Falls, AR (GlossyNews) — On the campaign trail with norbert b. snortwhistle. (Glossy News) – Presumed 2012 GOP presidential primary entrant Sarah Palin declared war on China today, though she admitted she wasn’t certain “it can be allowed” from…
Pakistani Man Shuts Down Internet Due To Footwear Problems
Nobi Patel was visibly discouraged as he searched shop after shop looking for a comfortable pair of shoes to wear while bicycle powering up his village’s internet section. After almost a week of no internet connections, angry neighbors were hurling…