Category: Top Stories
Republicans Demand NASCAR Observers at Polling Places
GlossyNews.com – TALLADEGA – Republicans in The Deep South are demanding that NASCAR officials be sent to all polling places to ensure a fair election. Talladega Republican Party Chairman Larry “big cheese” Nelson said, “We can’t risk our people not…
Romney Camp Launches Last Minute “Why Vote?” Ad Blitz
GlossyNews.com – Television ads have been running furiously in swing states like Iowa, Ohio, Florida, New Hampshire, Old Hampshire and Colorado, but one new ad hit the airwaves last night. The GOP sponsored “Why Vote?” campaign, paid for by Romney…
Romney Promises to Stop Gorbachev from Building Catapult
GlossyNews.com – BOSTON – In a last ditch effort to win over undecided voters, Mitt Romney today promised to stop a former leader of a defunct country from building an archaic weapon capable of hitting a non-existent state. At his…
Romney Goes Economy, Obama Fires Gun in Final Election Pitch
GlossyNews.com – YOUNGSTOWN, OH and NASHUA, NH – Both United States Presidential Candidates made one last pitch to the American people before Election Day though in pretty shocking and pretty shockingly different ways. Winding down a vicious election cycle, Former…
Romney/Ryan Official Victory Anthem Leaked: It’s Crickets
GlossyNews.com – I recently had the opportunity to sit down with the Head of the International Cricket Council, Sir Edward Crowley, to speak about why the ICC had chosen Governor Mitt Romney as its new official mascot, and why he…
Election Day 2012, Wall-to-Wall Coverage… Seriously
GlossyNews.com – Welcome to GlossyNews’ election day coverage. We’re running about three stories per hour, though more during the peak of the evening, so keep it here and we’ll feed you, baby bird. ALL ELECTION DAY 2012 HEADLINES You want…
Mysterious Robo Calls Hound Voters Days Before Election
Mysterious robo-calls have been plaguing American households in massive amounts these last few days of the build up to the Presidential election. Upon answering a heavily accented voice will announce “Love America or cleave it! Vote Hu Jintao for Plesident…
Netanyahu Declares Candidacy for U.S. President
GlossyNews.com – Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu today called a press conference to announce that he would accept the position of U.S. President, which he hoped would end the acrimony and divisiveness of the Romney-Obama rivalry for the office. Following…
Barack Obama Asks for Your Vote… For Mitt Romney
By President Barack Obama My fellow Americans, Next Tuesday, November 6, is Election Day, and this year your vote is more important than ever before. That’s because in this election you have a choice between two very different visions for…
Very Enterprising: Casket of Candy
With the economy in dire conditions entrepreneurs are looking to invest in recession proof businesses resulting in hundreds of coffin/candy shops springing up all over the country. Often branded as the ‘place to bury a loved one and unearth a…