Category: Top Stories
Conservative: It’s What Smart Gays, Blacks and Young Are Voting
Liberal Bastion Americans For Prosperity has a new study out, and it proves what real Americans have known for some time; smart people from all walks of life plan to vote conservative. “[Conservative] is just where it’s at,” said gay,…
FBI to Boost Recruitment, Remove Fitness Requirement
WASHINGTON, D.C. – In an effort to meet the growing diversity of the nation, the Department of Justice has announced changes to physical requirements for FBI special agents which will replace regular running with power walking. Current requirements for selection…
Guy In Starbucks Pretty Sure Job Interview Happening on Next Table
INDIANAPOLIS – Enjoying an orange mango smoothie at a Starbucks in downtown Indianapolis Thursday, local man Zach Needham was fairly certain that some sort of job interview – probably for a really high-end position – was taking place at the…
U.S. seeks to end flow of arms into Syria
In a statement that stunned observers, the U.S. Secretary of State, John Kerry announced during a visit to Iraq that it is asking its allies not to send arms and to prevent the flow of arms into Syria. The U.S….
Monica Lewinsky’s Dress to be Sold at Auction
After being rejected by the Smithsonian, Monica Lewinsky announced today that she will be selling her famous, blue, semen-stained dress at auction. Southeby’s, Inc., which will be handling the sale, predicts the historic dress should fetch up to $10 million…
Corporation Now Firing
INDIANAPOLIS – The city’s employment figures were tweaked Friday, as Corporate Technology Services (CTS) – an established call center corporation on the westside of Indianapolis – revealed that it is now firing. Expected to begin the firing process in earnest…
Bad Boy Bloomberg Banning Big Breasts
In his latest and most swift move to play strict-stepfather-who-hates-loud-rock-music to New Yorkers, Mayor Bloomberg has opted for a new ban on cup size. This time, however, instead of going after the large Coca-Cola in your cup, he’s going after…
Senator Graham Goes For The Low Hanging Fruit
South Carolina Republican Senator Lindsey Graham today championed his desire to restrict the ability to own fire arms to those who are no longer capable of knowing right from wrong. The senator laid out his thoughts in what many believed…
Cypriots Taxed On Their Savings- How To Really Screw Your Fellow Countrymen
Now it is the island nation of Cyprus’s time to come under the guillotine of economic bankruptcy. The only difference with their bankers way of dealing with it is that, instead of doing it in the U.S. fashion of taking…
John Boehner; the Heart of the Party Without a Heart
Speaker of the house, Republican Congressman John Boehner, today spoke out against the recent change in position of Republican Senator Rob Portman regarding the issue of marriage equality. Senator Portman recently changed his position on marriage equality after relaying the…