Category: Top Stories
Confessions of a Former Sarah Palin Supporter
Yes, it is true. I voted for Sarah Palin. No, not when she was running for Vice President. Way back when she was running for governor of Alaska. Posters of her were everywhere in the 49th state. She seemed genuine,…
Google: “People Don’t Need Bathroom Doors”
In a statement updated from 2009 and 2010, Eric Schmidt, CEO of Google Inc., has reiterated his belief that people need extremely little privacy, saying: “If you’re doing something that you don’t want anyone to see, maybe you shouldn’t be…
As if by magic, Google Ads are back on Glossy News
It’s mad strange, defies logic, and is wholly welcome. After a 3-stage denial process, we’ve been reinstated at the literal last possible second. Google has re-instated us as publishers. So our beef is settled, but let me tell you the…
Eric Holder Grabs Justice by the Balls
In theaters now! If you liked Ben Stiller and Vince Vaughn’s performance in the original 2004 sports comedy, then you are going to love Iron E-Media’s latest release: “DOJBall” (starring Attorney General Eric Holder). With such memorable lines as, “No…
Moderate Sarah Palin urges non-intervention and caution in Syria
Former U.S. Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin encouraged moderation and caution with respect to U.S. intervention in Syria, and denounced U.S. President Barack Obama for heeding former President Bill Clinton, former Defense Secretary Leon Panetta, former Secretary of State Hillary…
New ‘Trans-Jewish’ Movement Sparks Outrage
A new movement being popularized on Tumblr is seeking to show solidarity with individuals worldwide who feel they are “Trans-Jewish.” According to other posts on the page, the author is concerned with giving a voice to people such as himself,…
Business Lesson #39: Awlays Proffread Yoru Wrok
As a successful entrepreneur and highly sought-after business guru, Glossy News often consults me to provide my business advice for people trying to climb the ladder of success “How can I ever become as successful as you?” Well the short…
Student Not Traumatized After Sex With Teacher
15-year-old Josh Hanby claims he was not at all traumatized after having sex with his 27-year-old French Teacher Ms. Elaine Francois and actually seemed to enjoy the experience. “Man, it was fricking great!” Hanby stated. “She’s smokin hot! I’d do…
Edward Snowden’s Girlfriend Lindsay Mills Just An “Average” Poll Dancer
Many supporters of government whistleblower Edward Snowden claim that his girlfriend Lindsay Mills is just an “average” pole dancer with no special attributes. “I’ve seen Lindsay dance and she ain’t nothing special”, said New York bartender Sal Jennings, 37. “She…
IRS Insists Scandal More of a Misunderstanding
Unlike on Wall Street, gross incompetence has resulted in heads actually rolling at the IRS. It’s not that they’re bad people, even though obviously they are, but that they got caught in a scandal even they don’t know how to…