Israeli War Criminals – the New Nazis?

Israel’s Chief Minister for Genocidal Activities and former head honcho of the IDF’s ‘Brutal Thug’ Brigade – General Moshe ‘Boogie’ Slimeberg – canceled a recent visit to the UK due fears he would be summarily arrested on war crimes charges, according to the Knesset’s Office for Black Propaganda & Anti-Semitic Whingeing. Read more Israeli War Criminals – the New Nazis?

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UN Official Fired – For Telling Truth

The top UN official recently fired from his post for the unforgivable crime of telling the truth and criticising Afghanistan’s presidential election has publicly castigated the entire UN mission in the country. Peter Galbraith informed the Neo-Colonial Gazette the $300 zillion per annum mission – employing several thousand personnel – is now “leaderless” and summed up the UN special envoy as an ‘egoistic dog wanker’. Read more UN Official Fired – For Telling Truth

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Obama So Good at Failing Wars, Wins Nobel Peace Prize

President Barack Obama looks to be in a bit of a pickle – regardless of being awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for being top dog of the world’s most belligerent nation – next to Israel.

If he doesn’t sanction the dispatch of the extra 40,000 troops his military commander in Afghanistan – General Billy Bob McTwattie – has requested to replace the ones the Taliban keep snuffing then the GOP Republican hawks are ready to paint him as a spineless dove who’s Read more Obama So Good at Failing Wars, Wins Nobel Peace Prize

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Donald Trump Statues Set to Fire Much of Scotland

A radical anarchist campaign group dead set against Donald Trump’s £1 zillion golf resort project at Menie in the coastal province of McTwatshire has dressed up statues around Scotland parodying the avaricious American tycoon.

The Menie Liberation Front group said the joke Trump masks, derogatory signs and golf clubs had been added to about 200 statues in Aberdeen, Edinburgh, Glasgow and Stirling. Read more Donald Trump Statues Set to Fire Much of Scotland

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PM Gordon Brown Runs Amok – Millions Feared Dead

A most beleaguered Gordon ‘Culpability’ Brown returned to the airwaves today following his previous evening’s TV interview disaster as he tried to end the annual New Labour party conference with at least some portion of the voting public and traditional supporters, sponsors and donors etc still believing he and his cabinet have at least half an idea of how to run the country until they get unanimously voted out of office next year. Read more PM Gordon Brown Runs Amok – Millions Feared Dead

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Dems Desperately Seek to Cave to House Repubes [Sick]

Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, head puppet mistress of the larger of our nation’s two great houses, may have injured a lumbar disc in session yesterday as she attempted to bend over backwards far enough for house minority Republicans to administer their hot dose of “values” down her throat from the back. Democrats these days are not just in power or empowered, their in an unusual position of power… to the minority Republicans, who whip them about like impotent children. Read more Dems Desperately Seek to Cave to House Repubes [Sick]

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US Paranoid Over Iran’s “World Ending” Nuke Programme

Iran concealed a fully operational second uranium enrichment plant in defiance of Israeli-led calls for transparency over its nuclear plans, according to the perjurious Zionist stooge President Barack “Barky O’Barmy” Obama.

A group of sycophantic spokesmen for the US, UK and France told a reporter from the Cry Wolf Gazette that the UN and the IAEA had to be given immediate access to inspect Iran’s nuclear facilities and urged tough new sanctions to force the Ahmadashell administration to comply – while Russia and China publicly claimed they didn’t give a flying fuck and enjoyed watching Israel and their Western schlemiels squirm over what Iran did and or did not actually possess in the way of military weapons grade nuclear materials. Read more US Paranoid Over Iran’s “World Ending” Nuke Programme

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Ungrateful Iraqis “Don’t Appreciate” US Invasion

The US House Overshite Committee on International Ethnic Cleansing, Human Wrongs and Justifiable Genocide met today in Washington to discuss issues of sovereignty and stability in Iraq and the country’s longstanding financial obligation of reimbursing the US-led coalition nation forces for the costs of invading – then occupying – their country for the past six years – at great ‘continuing’ expense in the terms of body bags and funerals. Read more Ungrateful Iraqis “Don’t Appreciate” US Invasion

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Mandelson-Scandalson Touted as Next Labour PM

This weekend, for the first time in British history since Liberal PM Archibald Primrose (Lord Rosebery) went fin-to-fin with Iceland in the 1895 Cod War, we have three prime ministers presiding over the country at once. – all of whom have as much grasp on actual cold plate supper reality as a chronic opium smoker – or Big Dave Cameron. Read more Mandelson-Scandalson Touted as Next Labour PM

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UK Attorney-General to Prosecute Self – Que?

British Slime Minister Gordon ‘Incapability’ Brown and his merry band of sycophantic bottom feeders at No 10 Downing Street today pronounced to an unruly mob of scandal-frenzied hacks from the Daily Shitraker and the Rumourmonger’s Gazette that they maintained “full confidence” in Attorney General Baroness Scumland of Walthamstow amid claims she illegally employed a Pacific Islands shemale – allegedly not permitted to work in the UK as her main educational and skills qualifications for visa entitlement came under the headings of ‘paddling dugout canoes’, ‘making ‘lei’ garlands of jasmine flowers’ and ‘collecting coconuts’. Read more UK Attorney-General to Prosecute Self – Que?

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Libyan Nut-Job Enthralls UN Assembly w/ Rambling Yarn

It was meant to be a day of global reconciliation, when the new Kenyan Messiah of the Free World (sic) would miraculously wipe clean the slate of the past eight years of Neo-Colonial Imperialist US hatred and herald an era of unity and brotherly love under the New World Order’s military-industrial Zionist jackboot. Read more Libyan Nut-Job Enthralls UN Assembly w/ Rambling Yarn

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Geithner’s Pie Chart Shows “Increase” (in quotation marks)

Washington, DC — In an amazing, some would say astounding, turn of events in the world, the Treasury pie chart has begun to show increases. Not quite enough to erase the decreases that have plagued our country – nay, the world at large – but a definite sign that a turnaround is in the works. Read more Geithner’s Pie Chart Shows “Increase” (in quotation marks)

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Greedshite Bank Bids to Buy All United Kingdom’s Roads

A radical avarice-inspired plan to rake in £100 billion by privatising the UK’s motorway and trunk road networks has been exposed – blowing wide open the criminal details of a series of covert sneaky attempts to corruptly influence ranking members of the three main political parties by the NM Greedshite Bank. Read more Greedshite Bank Bids to Buy All United Kingdom’s Roads

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