Categorized | Human Interest, Politics

Jeb Bush: I’m Not ‘White!’ Just a Regular Guy! (1/2)

Jeb Bush: I’m Not ‘White!’ Just a Regular Guy! (1/2)

The achingly well-meaning notable 3.0 du jour has put his foot in it again. Just read his comments at the recent ‘White Community-Black Community GOP Competitive Co-operation 1000 Dollar Dinner’ in the Seattle Hilton.

You know what, I want to address all you black folks somewhere out there in the audience, and thank you all from the bottom of my coffers… uh, my heart.

Because you guys are more or less exactly my kind of people, and I know you just wouldn’t be here if you weren’t supportive of my agenda… uh, my program.

I really mean that, with all my heart. It’s a bit like, well, you remember that achingly sincere video where John McCain congratulated… uh, what’s that guy’s name again?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A4KIvRTg6KQ

Hm… still can’t say the middle name, can we? Hell, I don’t even know what we are supposed to call his other guys either nowadays, do you? Is it ‘the black folks of color,’ or something?

Ha! Never mind. Better not even try. I mean, the evil racist liberal media sure would jump on us if we…

Oh, shit! Microphone is still on? But why? The bastards aren’t tapping US, are they? How the hell can they do that! Not ME, I mean, surely not just any mere…

Whew! OK, well, the point is. I may be standing up here, but let me tell you all something.

I AM NOT WHITE!!!

Uh-uh-uhhh! I am Jeb Bush, and I’m not white. Forget it! I’m just a standard-issue regular guy, like every one of you. I mean, it’s great how we can just mingle here as though we were equals… uh, I mean, AS equals.

Well, that’s the great thing about America. You or me can just walk up to any other standard-issue Average Joe in Wall Street or the snake-oil industry, and make ourselves at home.

For sure! I don’t know any other country where I could just, you know, walk in, and have a beer with my buddies like we were old friends or something!

Something tells me Jeb Bush may be missing the point a little bit? Hm. Maybe the next instalment will clarify things a little bit… by muddying them further still!

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- who has written 356 posts on GlossyNews.com.

Conspirator-in-Chief of the Peace Criminals Project: Neocon Surveillance& Satirical-Industrial Complex! Also published on a range of satire sites. Currently co-editing Glossy News (under the webmaster, Brian K. White). Contact me to pitch or submit your satire! David Cameron says I am a #TerroristSympathizer. Islamists say I am an #Islamophobe. New Atheists think I am a #CravenApologistForPrimitiveBronzeAgeSuperstitions. MRAs & Alt-Right think I'm a #MatriarchalCuck. Others say I'm a #StraightMiddleClassWhiteBoy. And still more think I'm a #FuckingPleb. Just another edgy day at the Satirist's office! I am the Mayor of the Zero Fucks Community ;) @w_runnymede (Twitter) wallacerunnymede@gmail.com

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