GOP God Caucus ‘Patti Smith Cover’ Proves Riot Grrrl Credentials

The GOP’s God Caucus, not to be confused with the voluminous and highly visible, achingly secular GOP majority (about 99% or so!), are keen to prove their feminist credentials once more.

Still, up to now, all their other highly conspicuous social reachouts (let alone their highly non-conspicuous socialist reacharounds!) have been abject failures, so hey…

What’s the worst that can happen?

But unfortunately, Mike Huckabee isn’t participating in the GOP cover version of Patti Smith’s Gloria.

Still, to give all due credit (such as such credit may be), he does think the lyrics are a little provocative and inflammatory, and he doesn’t believe in unnecessarily stirring the s*** in order to cause needless offense.

… As (not-so-non!-)recent events have undoubtedly proven once more!


Jesus judges all your sins but not mine

Socialists are all thieves

Shameless widow tuggin’ at our godly ol’ sleeves

Rebuking with a face like stone

Your selves are my own

You belong to me…


You know I just don’t care

Our Party’s nearly there

Got to get rid of unnecessary business regulations

You see



Oo! Ya know…

Had enough of high taxes

And all that foolish gay pride

All these flaming liberals

They want to make everything allowed!

They only want to make Man’s laws

Without thinking of God

But now I’m looking at the internet

Judging at all them coquettes

Having ungodly fornication in their greedy Mammon Hell-Corvettes


They must be crazy heathens

Abandoned by GOP and God alike

But their votes

Their precious earthly votes

They must be mine must be mine must be mine must be mine, baby!

Here our victory comes

Burn the welfare forms!

O yeah listen up, here I come!

No HPV for whores

O look around, here I come!

Outlaw illicit love affairs

Ooh, here I come!

Maybe just insure your dick and balls

And I’ve got a freaky feeling!

I’ll outlaw the rest

And yeah!

Oh oh oh, I’m feelin’ so rich,

And oh, I feel so godly

I’m starting to think America deserves my body

Aah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah, yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-CHECK THAT!

But now my lobbyist’s here

Come on closer!

To my front desk

Come on closer!

You need a fat cheque, boy

Come on closer!

And make a new old way

Come on closer!

But uh-oh my wife

Has just come in the door

And she’s askin’ a me,

What’s that fat sinner man here

What’s that sinner guy here for?

And I sayyyy…

Ohh, he is so nice!

Don’t worry, baby

Ooo, he is so pious!

And I wouldn’t let a hellbound liberal atheist near my

Bo-o-o, bo-o-o, bo-o-o, body!

But now this wife of mine she screams to me

What’s this corporate asshole’s name?!

And I can’t stop

I can’t help

And I can’t stop

And I can’t help it

And I’m like

And I’m

And I’m like, I’m-a-like-like, baby…






Oo! G-O-P-I-A!

Glory G… OP!


God gonna bless the G… O-P



G… O P


Because Jesus judges the sins of those gi-i-i-i-i-irrrrlllllllllllsssssssss….



Huh? Why is Patti Smith’s face partly hidden in the meme?

Well if you don’t understand the significance of this famous feminist singer’s face being partly hidden, in a song parody which also not-so-directly relates to some misogynistic tendencies in the GOP, there’s probably little hope for you to understand the unpleasant symbolism at stake.

Fortunately, however, Patti Smith has always spoken for herself, and always will. The original classic, ‘Gloria,’ is great for a ‘fair use’ transformation, because the song itself is very much steeped in the countercultural feminism of the time, and Patti Smith’s concerns are still relevant today.

Long live Riot Grrrl!


Author: Wallace Runnymede

Wallace is the editor of Brian K. White's epic website, Glossy News! Email him with your content at (Should be @, not #!) Or if you'd like me to help you tease out some ideas that you can't quite put into concrete form, I'd love to have some dialogue with you! Catch me on Patreon too, or better still, help out our great writers on the official Glossy News Patreon (see the bottom of the homepage!) Don't forget to favourite Glossy News in your browser, and like us on Facebook too! And last but VERY MUCH not the least of all... Share, share, SHARE! Thanks so much for taking the time to check out our awesome site!