The GOP’s God Caucus, not to be confused with the voluminous and highly visible, achingly secular GOP majority (about 99% or so!), are keen to prove their feminist credentials once more.
Still, up to now, all their other highly conspicuous social reachouts (let alone their highly non-conspicuous socialist reacharounds!) have been abject failures, so hey…
What’s the worst that can happen?
But unfortunately, Mike Huckabee isn’t participating in the GOP cover version of Patti Smith’s Gloria.
Still, to give all due credit (such as such credit may be), he does think the lyrics are a little provocative and inflammatory, and he doesn’t believe in unnecessarily stirring the s*** in order to cause needless offense.
… As (not-so-non!-)recent events have undoubtedly proven once more!
G-O-P-I-A: JESUS JUDGES ALL YOUR SINS BUT NOT MINE
Jesus judges all your sins but not mine
Socialists are all thieves
Shameless widow tuggin’ at our godly ol’ sleeves
Rebuking with a face like stone
Your selves are my own
You belong to me…
ME!
You know I just don’t care
Our Party’s nearly there
Got to get rid of unnecessary business regulations
You see
Seeeee,
SEE!
Oo! Ya know…
Had enough of high taxes
And all that foolish gay pride
All these flaming liberals
They want to make everything allowed!
They only want to make Man’s laws
Without thinking of God
But now I’m looking at the internet
Judging at all them coquettes
Having ungodly fornication in their greedy Mammon Hell-Corvettes
Oooooooo!
They must be crazy heathens
Abandoned by GOP and God alike
But their votes
Their precious earthly votes
They must be mine must be mine must be mine must be mine, baby!
Here our victory comes
Burn the welfare forms!
O yeah listen up, here I come!
No HPV for whores
O look around, here I come!
Outlaw illicit love affairs
Ooh, here I come!
Maybe just insure your dick and balls
And I’ve got a freaky feeling!
I’ll outlaw the rest
And yeah!
Oh oh oh, I’m feelin’ so rich,
And oh, I feel so godly
I’m starting to think America deserves my body
Aah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah, yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-CHECK THAT!
But now my lobbyist’s here
Come on closer!
To my front desk
Come on closer!
You need a fat cheque, boy
Come on closer!
And make a new old way
Come on closer!
But uh-oh my wife
Has just come in the door
And she’s askin’ a me,
What’s that fat sinner man here
What’s that sinner guy here for?
And I sayyyy…
Ohh, he is so nice!
Don’t worry, baby
Ooo, he is so pious!
And I wouldn’t let a hellbound liberal atheist near my
Bo-o-o, bo-o-o, bo-o-o, body!
But now this wife of mine she screams to me
What’s this corporate asshole’s name?!
And I can’t stop
I can’t help
And I can’t stop
And I can’t help it
And I’m like
And I’m
And I’m like, I’m-a-like-like, baby…
G….
O…
P…
I…
I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-AAAAAAAAAA
Oo! G-O-P-I-A!
Glory G… OP!
G-O-P-I-A!
God gonna bless the G… O-P
G-O-P-I-A!
Aye-ya-ya-ya-ya
G… O P
G-O-P-I-A
Because Jesus judges the sins of those gi-i-i-i-i-irrrrlllllllllllsssssssss….
But not MI-IIIIIINNNNNEEEEE!
***
Huh? Why is Patti Smith’s face partly hidden in the meme?
Well if you don’t understand the significance of this famous feminist singer’s face being partly hidden, in a song parody which also not-so-directly relates to some misogynistic tendencies in the GOP, there’s probably little hope for you to understand the unpleasant symbolism at stake.
Fortunately, however, Patti Smith has always spoken for herself, and always will. The original classic, ‘Gloria,’ is great for a ‘fair use’ transformation, because the song itself is very much steeped in the countercultural feminism of the time, and Patti Smith’s concerns are still relevant today.
Long live Riot Grrrl!