Categorized | Music, Politics

GOP God Caucus ‘Patti Smith Cover’ Proves Riot Grrrl Credentials

GOP God Caucus ‘Patti Smith Cover’ Proves Riot Grrrl Credentials

The GOP’s God Caucus, not to be confused with the voluminous and highly visible, achingly secular GOP majority (about 99% or so!), are keen to prove their feminist credentials once more.

Still, up to now, all their other highly conspicuous social reachouts (let alone their highly non-conspicuous socialist reacharounds!) have been abject failures, so hey…

What’s the worst that can happen?

But unfortunately, Mike Huckabee isn’t participating in the GOP cover version of Patti Smith’s Gloria.

Still, to give all due credit (such as such credit may be), he does think the lyrics are a little provocative and inflammatory, and he doesn’t believe in unnecessarily stirring the s*** in order to cause needless offense.

… As (not-so-non!-)recent events have undoubtedly proven once more!


Jesus judges all your sins but not mine

Socialists are all thieves

Shameless widow tuggin’ at our godly ol’ sleeves

Rebuking with a face like stone

Your selves are my own

You belong to me…


You know I just don’t care

Our Party’s nearly there

Got to get rid of unnecessary business regulations

You see



Oo! Ya know…

Had enough of high taxes

And all that foolish gay pride

All these flaming liberals

They want to make everything allowed!

They only want to make Man’s laws

Without thinking of God

But now I’m looking at the internet

Judging at all them coquettes

Having ungodly fornication in their greedy Mammon Hell-Corvettes


They must be crazy heathens

Abandoned by GOP and God alike

But their votes

Their precious earthly votes

They must be mine must be mine must be mine must be mine, baby!

Here our victory comes

Burn the welfare forms!

O yeah listen up, here I come!

No HPV for whores

O look around, here I come!

Outlaw illicit love affairs

Ooh, here I come!

Maybe just insure your dick and balls

And I’ve got a freaky feeling!

I’ll outlaw the rest

And yeah!

Oh oh oh, I’m feelin’ so rich,

And oh, I feel so godly

I’m starting to think America deserves my body

Aah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah, yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-CHECK THAT!

But now my lobbyist’s here

Come on closer!

To my front desk

Come on closer!

You need a fat cheque, boy

Come on closer!

And make a new old way

Come on closer!

But uh-oh my wife

Has just come in the door

And she’s askin’ a me,

What’s that fat sinner man here

What’s that sinner guy here for?

And I sayyyy…

Ohh, he is so nice!

Don’t worry, baby

Ooo, he is so pious!

And I wouldn’t let a hellbound liberal atheist near my

Bo-o-o, bo-o-o, bo-o-o, body!

But now this wife of mine she screams to me

What’s this corporate asshole’s name?!

And I can’t stop

I can’t help

And I can’t stop

And I can’t help it

And I’m like

And I’m

And I’m like, I’m-a-like-like, baby…






Oo! G-O-P-I-A!

Glory G… OP!


God gonna bless the G… O-P



G… O P


Because Jesus judges the sins of those gi-i-i-i-i-irrrrlllllllllllsssssssss….



Huh? Why is Patti Smith’s face partly hidden in the meme?

Well if you don’t understand the significance of this famous feminist singer’s face being partly hidden, in a song parody which also not-so-directly relates to some misogynistic tendencies in the GOP, there’s probably little hope for you to understand the unpleasant symbolism at stake.

Fortunately, however, Patti Smith has always spoken for herself, and always will. The original classic, ‘Gloria,’ is great for a ‘fair use’ transformation, because the song itself is very much steeped in the countercultural feminism of the time, and Patti Smith’s concerns are still relevant today.

Long live Riot Grrrl!



This post was written by

- who has written 551 posts on

Sub-editor of Glossy News. Contact me to pitch or submit your satire! You can buy my satire and poetry ebooks from many online stores, including Amazon. Make sure you like the Glossy News and Wallace Runnymede pages on Facebook!


Leave a Reply

We are also looking for a satire editor
and a Clever Photoshop Guru...
We Made a Movie!

Check us out on Kickstarter!

Glossy News Exclusive Exposés

-- (SEE ALL Videos) --

Glossy News Fake Commercials!

More Great Satire:

Check out links to even more of our friends...
Want to see Your Link Here?

Our Top Authors (last 30-days)

All of Our Categories:

Top Stories - Top Stories; Politics - Top Stories; Serious Commentary - Top Stories; World News - Top Stories; Biz News - Top Stories; War Zone | Horoscopes
Entertainment - Entertainment; Celebrity Gossip - Entertainment; Television - Entertainment; Music - Entertainment; Internet Tubes - Entertainment; Books, Newspapers & Misc - Entertainment; Movies
Society - Society; Health - Society; Crime - Society; Travel - Society; Crooked Cops - Society; Education - Society; Strange People - Society; Religionism - Society; Human Interest - Society; Kidz Zone
Science and Technology - Science and Technology; Science - Science and Technology; Technology - Science and Technology; Gadgets & Gizmos - Science and Technology; Environment
Sports - Sports; Scandals - Sports; Athletes - Sports; Events | All the Rest - News in Your Briefs - Making Headlines - Opinion/Editorial