Doctors Without Borders Invests in Body Armor, Bunkers

The medical charity Doctors Without Borders is stocking up on body armor, underground bunkers, and armored vehicles. It’s unusual for the group of volunteer doctors to take such measures, but recent attacks by the United States have made it necessary.

“No one wants people to survive in a war zone,” said the organization’s General Director, Christopher Stokes. “We have powerful enemies, enemies who are eager to murder us and anyone in our vicinity, civilians, doctors, anyone.”

A spokesman for the United States military confirmed this. “Our job is to kill people. These doctors are getting in the way when they save lives.”

From now on, Doctors Without Borders will supply all its doctors, nurses and patients with body armor, transport patients in armor-plated ambulances, and construct any new hospitals in heavily fortified underground bunkers.

“It’s the right decision,” said Stokes. “As we solve problems, we have to be on guard against the governments that cause them.”

Author: Charles

Although he's also written for the news parody site The Spoof, Charles is more used to writing fiction than satire. His writing has appeared in The Laurel Review, Fiction Weekly, Dirtflask, Cheek Teeth, and Specter. It has won McNeese State University's Fiction Award and been shortlisted for the Faulkner-Wisdom Creative Writing Competition. He's now writing a young adult novel, Challenge Challenge. His website can be found here.