Category: War Zone
Dick Cheney Blasts Americans for Letting Terrorists Win
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Former Vice President Dick Cheney blamed Americans yesterday for “being in bed with” terrorists. “The people of this nation are as much to blame as their pusillanimous, light-skinned president for delivering the head of democracy to the…
It’s War: Tiny Countries Move Against the US
Meneng, Nauru, Micronesia (GlossyNews) — In breaking news this morning, the government of the sleepy Micronesian island nation of Nauru has joined with the tiny nations of Monaco and Vatican City in declaring a preemptive war on the United States….
XE, Artists Formerly Known As Blackwater, Open Kill Thrill Amusement Park
Hayden, ID (GlossyNews) — Soldiers of Fortune, paramilitary buffs and serial killers can all revel in the new theme park started by Xe, the artists once known as Blackwater. Fresh from getting off their convictions of killing 17 Iraqi civilians…
Al Queda Looking For A Few Good Yuppies
New York, NY — In a unique reversal of its former policy of attracting the poor and oppressed for its legions of bomb makers and bomb blowers, Al-Queda has changed its strategy to recruiting young, rich Westerners to its agenda…
Osama’s Cave Getting Too Crowded
(Information received by word of mouth via the north Pakistan grapevine) Osama bin Laden’s cave has become crowded beyond capacity due to President Obama’s decision to send an additional 30,000 US troops to Afghanistan. Every Taliban member not busy committing…
Taliban Announces 30,000 Jihadist Surge to Match US
President Obama today announced that in line with the Rothshite Zionist-dictated edict that the United States is not allowed a Middle East or foreign policy separate from – or in conflict with – Israel’s, he will be dispatching an additional…
Iran Declares Victory in “Art Student’s Yacht-gate”
The UK Foreign Office has now switched its typical slack-arsed press release from ‘actively investigating’ reports that five British yachtsmen – including their yacht – have been arrested by Iran’s Revolutionary Guard to ‘actively investigating’ reports that the five have…
Iraq Stands by “Magic Bomb Detector” Technology
Iraqi security forces have adopted a revolutionary new bomb detection device, according to the New York Times. The hand-held device is several orders of magnitude smaller than devices available from “reputable” manufacturers, but American critics have their collective panties in…
Terrorists Win: Bin Laden “Pleasantly Surprised” w/ NYC 9-11 Show Trial
Deep in the Mountains of Pakistan: Osama Bin Laden gave a rare press interview today to BSNE and other members of the international media. Commenting on the Obama Administration’s decision to try the mastermind of the 9-11 Attacks, Khalid Sheik…
Halliburton And The Carrots, Holds the Sticks
Bogota, Columbia – In an unusual development in the strife-torn South American country of Columbia, the giant war machine known as Halliburton seems to be growing food. Over the past 6 months, on advice from a high-level undisclosed source, the…