Posted in War Zone

Exciting New Marketing Slogans for ISIS

The Islamic State has been pretty much wiped out. So, they need a bit of fresh marketing expertise. That’s where you and me come in!

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Exciting New Marketing Slogans for ISIS
Posted in Religionism War Zone

Don’t Be Intolerant to the Nazi Community: ‘Blitzkrieg’ is Not an Offensive Name

In honour of the couple with the son ‘Jihad,’ I’m going to call my son Blitzkrieg. Now I do hope nobody finds this objectionable…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Don’t Be Intolerant to the Nazi Community: ‘Blitzkrieg’ is Not an Offensive Name
Posted in Religionism War Zone

CIA Hymnbook III: Your Firewall Will Never Save You

Your firewall will never save you From our dread and mighty drones

WTF?! Click now to find out more! CIA Hymnbook III: Your Firewall Will Never Save You
Posted in Politics War Zone

Despite what Moscow says, Shareblue is NOT Correct The Record

During the 2016 elections, a Super PAC called “Correct the Record” (CTR for short) stated their goal of seeking out untrue stories and debunking them on social media. Trump supporters, led by Moscow, jumped on this as supposed proof that…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Despite what Moscow says, Shareblue is NOT Correct The Record
Posted in Politics War Zone

New Low for NRA: Gun Nuts Plot March Against the ‘Nuclear Disarmament’ of US Citizens

Further to yesterday’s story about the NRA’s “100% favorable” rating for ISIS, it gets worse. The NRA are now marching against the tyrannical nuclear disarmament of US citizens.

WTF?! Click now to find out more! New Low for NRA: Gun Nuts Plot March Against the ‘Nuclear Disarmament’ of US Citizens
Posted in Politics War Zone

ISIS Get Top 100% Approval Rating from NRA Gun Lobby

ISIS and the NRA. One are a radical gang of gun-toting ideological extremists, the other are a corrupt alliance of dangerous idiots who owe their existence purely to the corruption, greed and stupidity of the Washington establishment.

WTF?! Click now to find out more! ISIS Get Top 100% Approval Rating from NRA Gun Lobby
Posted in War Zone

Weaponized Sarcasm: Some Snarky Tweets on Neocons

Here are some lightly-edited tweets of mine, poking fun at and exposing the neoconservative menace. Don’t forget to follow me! Neocons are Lord Sauron, who covet the Ring of Power for evil’s sake. Liberal Interventionists are Saruman, the ‘moral’ alternative!

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Weaponized Sarcasm: Some Snarky Tweets on Neocons
Posted in Politics War Zone

Random Thoughts (V): Not All Pacifists are Created Equal

Pacifism and Perfectionism It is necessary to distinguish between a conscientious objection where one refuses to serve in the Armed forces; versus a kind of intrusive, interventionist and deeply sanctimonious hyper-pacifism which would snatch the gun from the hand of…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Random Thoughts (V): Not All Pacifists are Created Equal
Posted in Politics War Zone

Hillary Clinton Defends Crimes Against Humanity & Genocide

Hillary Clinton has provided some typically sophistical responses to old One Tongue Johnny’s recent arguments against ‘the Globalist-Humanitarian jargon of “Crimes Against Humanity” and “Genocide.”‘ Let’s hope we can keep her on topic; I know she has a habit to digress…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Hillary Clinton Defends Crimes Against Humanity & Genocide
Posted in War Zone World News

Blair Bombshell: “Tories Ignored my Warning Not to Intervene in Libya”

Former Prime Minister and most hated man in Britain Tony Blair has recently dropped a devastating bombshell that is sure to restore his flagging reputation beyond all measure.

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Blair Bombshell: “Tories Ignored my Warning Not to Intervene in Libya”
Posted in Politics War Zone

Trump Scores “Tremendous” Deal w/Putin, Gets Full Refund on Alaska

Having met with top campaign contributor and social media guru Vladimir Putin, Trump came out glowing with the announcement that Alaska will be returned to Russia for “a full refund, cash!”

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Trump Scores “Tremendous” Deal w/Putin, Gets Full Refund on Alaska
Posted in Education War Zone

Cheney’s Hoover Memorial Lecture: ‘We Must Stand Firm Against Paranoid Belligerent Autocrats of Pyongyang’ (2/2)

This is the tail end of Richard ‘Clever Dick’ Cheney’s speech from last time.

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Cheney’s Hoover Memorial Lecture: ‘We Must Stand Firm Against Paranoid Belligerent Autocrats of Pyongyang’ (2/2)
Posted in Education War Zone

Cheney’s Hoover Memorial Lecture: ‘We Must Stand Firm Against Paranoid Belligerent Autocrats of Pyongyang’ (1/2)

Dick Cheney has recently conducted the annual Edgar J. Hoover Memorial Lecture at the Hoover Institute; a notable think tank renowned, among other things, for its publications on foreign policy. Cheney’s speech had a rather mixed reception; however, his discussion…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Cheney’s Hoover Memorial Lecture: ‘We Must Stand Firm Against Paranoid Belligerent Autocrats of Pyongyang’ (1/2)
Posted in Health War Zone

Sneezing is One Tenth of an Orgasm: Islamic State Make War on Moldy Houses

ISIS and dodgy landlords. One is an evil gang of nefarious gangsters and mafiosi, who give zero fucks about anyone else, and will trample over anyone in their day, doing whatever it takes to expand their evil empire. The other…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Sneezing is One Tenth of an Orgasm: Islamic State Make War on Moldy Houses
Posted in Politics War Zone

(Meme): Authoritarians All Have Something in Common

Neo-Nazis, Alt-Right, Political Islamists, Christian Dominionists, Myanmarese Buddho-Marxists, Trots, Sparts, Neocons, Humanitarian Interventionists, Scientologists… See the pattern emerging yet? They all seem to think individuals belong to some meaningless abstraction out there which is everything and nothing, and everyone and…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! (Meme): Authoritarians All Have Something in Common
Posted in Music War Zone

WHY Iran? (Parody of a Mark Knopfler Classic, with Apologies to the Current President of Syria)

CIA had no way of staying afloat Gotta bomb them Syrian warboats Never mind the refugees We blitzin’ them Syrians like Germany We created the Taliban And we’ll drop chlorine o’er a’ the land We got dodgy dossiers and tabloid…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! WHY Iran? (Parody of a Mark Knopfler Classic, with Apologies to the Current President of Syria)
Posted in War Zone

Humanitarian Gas Chambers and Gulags

If you think warmongering is a left-wing or a right-wing thing, you are an utter moron. If you think peace is a left-wing or a right-wing thing, you are an irredeemable imbecile. If you think foreign policy should be reduced…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Humanitarian Gas Chambers and Gulags
Posted in Internets Tubes War Zone

Exclusive Tour Inside a B-17 Bomber

NOTE FROM WALLACE: Those interested in military history will find this fascinating. Not many people reading will have found themselves behind the controls of a B-17 bomber. Perhaps a few have. Do you have any memories? Was it a museum…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Exclusive Tour Inside a B-17 Bomber
Posted in War Zone World News

Not Funny: Another Tasteless Joke About Syria (It Doesn’t Taste of Bitter Orange Though)

What’s the difference between moderate Syrian choppers and an impotent autocrat?

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Not Funny: Another Tasteless Joke About Syria (It Doesn’t Taste of Bitter Orange Though)
Posted in Politics War Zone

Bush Memes: Dead Dynasty, but their Devastation Lives On….

YOU WILL SUBMIT YOU WILL SUBMIT YOU WILL SUBMIT

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Bush Memes: Dead Dynasty, but their Devastation Lives On….
Posted in Politics War Zone

Don’t Be Ungrateful to the Clintons

What have the Clintons ever done for me? Well, they carved up Yugoslavia and turned their artificial sub-Soviet statelet ‘Kosovo’ into a haven for ISIS choppers. Yeah but what have they really done for me?

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Don’t Be Ungrateful to the Clintons
Posted in Politics War Zone

Salon Slam Slanderous Syrian Smearwork, Big Up Blair

Recently, we discussed a leaked Syrian intel document. It turns out that the UK government and the Tony Blair Faith Foundation have all been identified as violent extremists. However, notable champagne socialist and latte liberal rag Salon objects strongly to…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Salon Slam Slanderous Syrian Smearwork, Big Up Blair
Posted in War Zone World News

Syrian Intel Identify UK Gov, Tony Blair Charity as ‘Violent Extremists’

Syrian is currently in the middle of a fairly brutal and bloody civil war. And yet, Syrian intelligence have still managed to find the time to pompously moralize and point the finger at some of the innumerable vicious and dangerous…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Syrian Intel Identify UK Gov, Tony Blair Charity as ‘Violent Extremists’
Posted in Politics War Zone

U.S. Department Stores Renew War on Christmas

If you haven’t entered a department store since early October, local man Skip Peters thinks you may be in for a shock. “Not one employee will wish you a merry Christmas,” he claims. According to Peters, stores across the country…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! U.S. Department Stores Renew War on Christmas
Posted in War Zone World News

The Paris Tragedies

Note from Wallace: This essay from Appleseed Ike appeared very early in the history of the Neocon Surveillance site, and the Peace Criminals Project more generally. These meditations are particularly poignant in light of further terrorist tragedies and atrocities in…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! The Paris Tragedies
Posted in War Zone World News

Nasty Politician Memes

War in Yemen, William Hague, Dick Cheney, Samantha Power, Obama… Gotta love these guys!

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Nasty Politician Memes
Posted in Politics War Zone

Gone But Not Forgotten: John Kerry Meme Tribute

 The High Sultan of Flip-Flop will soon shuffle mournfully off the political scene. But let’s remember some of the highlights of John Kerry’s career. Well, you know what I mean!

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Gone But Not Forgotten: John Kerry Meme Tribute
Posted in War Zone World News

An ‘Inconvenient’ Parable

I wish Tony Blair would just go away. He’s like a clingy one night stand that keeps calling you up every now and then at 3 am, completely out of the blue, in order to tell you who much he…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! An ‘Inconvenient’ Parable
Posted in War Zone World News

4 More Reasons Why You Should Join ISIS

A lot of people were offended by the recent Ten Great Reasons to Join ISIS article by Kilroy. I found myself at a bit of a loss to write an even edgier article. However, help is at hand! Notable Moderate…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! 4 More Reasons Why You Should Join ISIS
Posted in War Zone World News

Have You Ever Thought About Joining ISIS?

NOTE FROM WALLACE RUNNYMEDE: We rarely republish pieces at Glossy News, even though the ‘Glossy News Classics’ occasional series will feature some great work from our back catalogue. But this recent piece was so hilarious, we are publishing it again!…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Have You Ever Thought About Joining ISIS?