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Sneezing is One Tenth of an Orgasm: Islamic State Make War on Moldy Houses

Sneezing is One Tenth of an Orgasm: Islamic State Make War on Moldy Houses

ISIS and dodgy landlords.
One is an evil gang of nefarious gangsters and mafiosi, who give zero fucks about anyone else, and will trample over anyone in their day, doing whatever it takes to expand their evil empire.
The other one is an Islamic terrorist organization!
Still, it turns out that the freewheeling, freeriding anarcho-capitalist idealists and rugged individualists, er, Unitarians, are not at all satisfied with their radical Marxist housing policy of forcibly de-gentrifying the ancient Syrian metropolis of Palmyra. Continue Reading

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Posted in Health, War Zone0 Comments

(Meme): Authoritarians All Have Something in Common

(Meme): Authoritarians All Have Something in Common

Neo-Nazis, Alt-Right, Political Islamists, Christian Dominionists, Myanmarese Buddho-Marxists, Trots, Sparts, Neocons, Humanitarian Interventionists, Scientologists…

See the pattern emerging yet?

They all seem to think individuals belong to some meaningless abstraction out there which is everything and nothing, and everyone and no-one, and everywhere and nowhere.

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Posted in Politics, War Zone0 Comments

WHY Iran? (Parody of a Mark Knopfler Classic, with Apologies to the Current President of Syria)

WHY Iran? (Parody of a Mark Knopfler Classic, with Apologies to the Current President of Syria)

CIA had no way of staying afloat
Gotta bomb them Syrian warboats
Never mind the refugees
We blitzin’ them Syrians like Germany
We created the Taliban
And we’ll drop chlorine o’er a’ the land
We got dodgy dossiers and tabloid fear
Bombing kids from Kabul to aye reet here

Why Iran, why aye, why aye man
Why aye man, why aye, why not Iran Continue Reading

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Posted in Music, War Zone0 Comments

Humanitarian Gas Chambers and Gulags

Humanitarian Gas Chambers and Gulags

If you think warmongering is a left-wing or a right-wing thing, you are an utter moron.

If you think peace is a left-wing or a right-wing thing, you are an irredeemable imbecile. Continue Reading

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Exclusive Tour Inside a B-17 Bomber

Exclusive Tour Inside a B-17 Bomber

NOTE FROM WALLACE:

Those interested in military history will find this fascinating.

Not many people reading will have found themselves behind the controls of a B-17 bomber.

Perhaps a few have.

Do you have any memories?

Was it a museum piece like this, or for real?

Feel free to comment below! Continue Reading

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Posted in Internets Tubes, War Zone0 Comments

Not Funny: Another Tasteless Joke About Syria (It Doesn’t Taste of Bitter Orange Though)

Not Funny: Another Tasteless Joke About Syria (It Doesn’t Taste of Bitter Orange Though)

What’s the difference between moderate Syrian choppers and an impotent autocrat? Continue Reading

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Posted in War Zone, World News0 Comments

Bush Memes: Dead Dynasty, but their Devastation Lives On….

Bush Memes: Dead Dynasty, but their Devastation Lives On….

YOU WILL SUBMIT

YOU WILL SUBMIT

YOU WILL SUBMIT

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Posted in Politics, War Zone0 Comments

Don’t Be Ungrateful to the Clintons

Don’t Be Ungrateful to the Clintons

What have the Clintons ever done for me?

Well, they carved up Yugoslavia and turned their artificial sub-Soviet statelet ‘Kosovo’ into a haven for ISIS choppers.

Yeah but what have they really done for me? Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics, War Zone0 Comments

Salon Slam Slanderous Syrian Smearwork, Big Up Blair

Salon Slam Slanderous Syrian Smearwork, Big Up Blair

Recently, we discussed a leaked Syrian intel document. It turns out that the UK government and the Tony Blair Faith Foundation have all been identified as violent extremists.

However, notable champagne socialist and latte liberal rag Salon objects strongly to this “hideous misrepresentation of the tragically beleaguered and oppressed humanitarian interventionist community.”

One radical Salonista tear-jerkingly (not to say circle-jerkingly!) notes: Continue Reading

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Syrian Intel Identify UK Gov, Tony Blair Charity as ‘Violent Extremists’

Syrian Intel Identify UK Gov, Tony Blair Charity as ‘Violent Extremists’

Syrian is currently in the middle of a fairly brutal and bloody civil war.

And yet, Syrian intelligence have still managed to find the time to pompously moralize and point the finger at some of the innumerable vicious and dangerous out-for-blood extremists and fanatics who, they claim, are trying to subvert and ultimately destroy their country.

A recent Wikileak from the Damascus authorities contains the following indictment of some rather familiar faces: Continue Reading

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Posted in War Zone, World News0 Comments

U.S. Department Stores Renew War on Christmas

U.S. Department Stores Renew War on Christmas

If you haven’t entered a department store since early October, local man Skip Peters thinks you may be in for a shock. “Not one employee will wish you a merry Christmas,” he claims.

According to Peters, stores across the country have boxed up the lawn inflatables and dancing Santas, along with their holiday cheer. What started as a protest by Starbucks has quickly spread across the nation.

As Peters puts it, “They’ve stolen the joy from young and old alike.” Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics, War Zone0 Comments

The Paris Tragedies

The Paris Tragedies

Note from Wallace:

This essay from Appleseed Ike appeared very early in the history of the Neocon Surveillance site, and the Peace Criminals Project more generally.

These meditations are particularly poignant in light of further terrorist tragedies and atrocities in recent times, including Berlin.

Thank you, Ike! Continue Reading

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Nasty Politician Memes

Nasty Politician Memes

War in Yemen, William Hague, Dick Cheney, Samantha Power, Obama…

Gotta love these guys! Continue Reading

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Gone But Not Forgotten: John Kerry Meme Tribute

Gone But Not Forgotten: John Kerry Meme Tribute

 The High Sultan of Flip-Flop will soon shuffle mournfully off the political scene. But let’s remember some of the highlights of John Kerry’s career.

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Posted in Politics, War Zone0 Comments

An ‘Inconvenient’ Parable

An ‘Inconvenient’ Parable

I wish Tony Blair would just go away.

He’s like a clingy one night stand that keeps calling you up every now and then at 3 am, completely out of the blue, in order to tell you who much he loves you and giving you unsolicited advice about how to live your life and manage your affairs! Continue Reading

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Posted in War Zone, World News0 Comments

4 More Reasons Why You Should Join ISIS

4 More Reasons Why You Should Join ISIS

A lot of people were offended by the recent Ten Great Reasons to Join ISIS article by Kilroy.
I found myself at a bit of a loss to write an even edgier article.
However, help is at hand!
Notable Moderate Political Islamist Teddy Ramallah of Cowbridge University has asked me to forward this ISIS recruitment advert to you.
I’m all for tolerance and respecting the sincerely held beliefs of others; diversity is our greatest strength, and as we all share a common humanity, I’m going to respect Teddy Ramallah’s ideological and ethical diversity, just like you ought to respect mine.
We’re all in this together… so, here we go!

#1 License to Kill & Be Killed (Just Like James Bond!)

I mean, I know bitches look down on you and all them white-ass hos don’t give you no pussy. Why don’t you actually get a bit classy so those prissy kafffir girls are actually eating out of your jihadi-bride-whacking fistifcuffs?

#2 No Muh Peer Pressure to Read

I mean, who actually LIKES reading? A lot of jihadists are very intelligent anyway, like Imam Khomeini (peace and blessings of the Dean be upon him), who wrote an entire several-volume book about chicken-fucking and marrying kids. So dump that stupid jaheel college of yours and learn that you actually have something constructive to do in this world. I mean, I can already see you are a better fit here, than there!

 #3 ISIS are anti-imperialists

Iraq and Syria and other apostate countries were carved up from the fall of the Ottoman empire. If you oppose an empire, you are an anti-imperialist! By definition! I mean, how much simpler do I have to say it?

#4 ISIS are Radical Cosmopolitans with a Global Outlook

All we want to do is to abolish all those arbitrary national boundaries that divide and alienate and that capitalists are always taking advantage of in order to oppress and exploit the innocent.
Unlike the racists and nationalists of America, our only desire is to reunited the world and bring about one common humanity and one single global village in peace and universal brotherhood. How many liberal interventionist or neocon infidels have you ever heard saying that?!

***

#HASHTAG

#SORRYIFYOUWEREOFFENDED

#IMEANIHAVEJIHADIFRIENDS

#ONLYACOUPLEMIND

#WELLDEARMEPEOPLEREALLYARESOSENSITIVENOWADAYSARENTTHEY

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Posted in War Zone, World News1 Comment

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