Category: Sports Scandals
Lady Liberty Loses Innocence to Greedy Suitors
It was a heinous act; too vile and too great for our minds to even truly comprehend. Lady Liberty, our much beloved symbol of America, was assaulted and callously violated today in an attack that has left the nation breathless…
Dwight Freeney Learning to Take the “Free” Out of His Name
Those who follow NFL apparently know who Dwight Freeney is, even if most of America, and the landlord on his recording studio, haven’t heard a peep from him. He’s being sued for $422,150 in back rent on the studio, a…
Infamous Miley Cyrus ‘Up Skirt’ Photo to Appear on Postage Stamp
The US Postal Service Postmaster General, Melvis P. Phelps, introduced the new Miley Cyrus Upskirt Postage Stamp to a mostly stunned and open mouthed crowd of reporters. Over the hushed crowd, he immediately tried to explain the importance of bringing…
Bowling Scandal Diverts Negative Attention from Tiger Woods
CHEYENNE, WY – Still recovering from the Tiger Woods scandal, the sports world finds itself mired in yet another public spectacle. Three-time PBA tour champion Slim “Fats” Fettwanst is suing Lurlene Jenks, owner of the “Preemptive Strikes” 32-lane bowling alley…
Former Singer/Drug Addict Bobby Brown Wins X-Games 14 Snowboarding Medal
ASPEN, Colorado — R&B sensation Bobby Brown left a successful stint with New Edition in 1987 to pursue a solo career, which garnered him a string of Top 10 Billboard hits and a Grammy Award. But Brown’s increasingly bizarre behavior…
Tiger Woods Converts to Mormonism, Declares 2nd Wife – Seeking More?
Salt Lake City, UT – Thurl Bailey step aside, the LDS Church will soon have a new spokesmodel. In a bizarre turn of events yesterday morning, LDS Church elders in Salt Lake City announced that Tiger Woods has decided to…
McGwire Admits to Using Prayer to Gain Competitive Edge
NEW YORK, NY (GlossyNews) — During a fifty-minute interview with Bob Costas on the MLB Network yesterday, former St. Louis Cardinals slugger Mark McGwire confessed tearfully that he had turned to prayer in order to treat injuries that had kept…
Ashley Madison Not One of Tiger Woods’ Mistresses
If Ashley Madison is not one of Tiger Woods’ many mistresses, then who is she and what does this have to do with Tiger Woods you ask? Plenty. If you didn’t know better, you’d think that Ashley Madison was just…
Celebrity Egocentric Obviously Jailed for Assault
One of the UK’s legion of shit-for-brains overpaid Premier League footballers broke a woman’s nose with a single head butt after declaring, “Don’t you know who I am? I’m an effin’ millionaire”, a jury sitting at Smegmadale Assizes heard in…
Phillies Fan Flogs Golly for Tickets
An American woman charged with offering sex in exchange for World Series baseball tickets maintains she has committed no crime nor done anything wrong by flogging her golly on the internet. “I’m not embarrassed about my actions but I’m effin’…