Category: Sports
Rio 2016 Olympic Opening Ceremony Exposes Non-existent Countries
The international community is trying to come to terms with the shock revelation that some countries with which other nations have links simply do not exist. Two hundred and seven countries were represented at the opening ceremony of Rio 2016,…
Andy Tate & Louis Van Gaal Respond to Latest Glazer Improvements of Man United
Last time, we told yer all about t’ Glazer family’s shoddy attempts t’ finally sort out United and make ’em all ‘bright, clean & nice-looking guys.’ But ‘ow has this news been received, eh? Andy Tate rants: Avram Glazer, yer…
Glazers & Manchester United: A Proper Free Market Corporation at Last
Notable across-the-pond sporting enterpreneurs ‘The Glazer lads, PLC.’ have recently decided that the old-fashioned European way of doing football just isn’t financially viable for such a serious enterpreneurial concern as Manchester United Soccer, uh, Whatever Club. So, they have now renamed their…
Chicago Cubs Lose, Cosmos Safe
In historic fashion, the curse of the Billy Goat again reared its ugly head on those Lovable Losers, the Chicago Cubs. Game four of the National League Championship Series ended with the New York Mets beating the Cubbies by the…
Harry Redknapp’s Resounding Victory over Twitter Trolls
Former rugby legend Bucky Guinstella has begun his long march out of the sporting wilderness, and has embarked upon a new literary career as a Twitter troll. However, the joke seems to be on him, and he is not having much…
Glossy News Soccer, um, Football Round-up (2/2)
Football Legend Self-styled, very much self-stylish, and scandalously glossy-cape-porting Caliph Abu Bakr Al-Baghdadi has made thinking about football, dreaming about football, or otherwise being remotely aware of the historical existence of football, an unforgivable and inexcusable hate crime against The…
Glossy News Soccer, um, Football Round-up (1/2)
The new season has already started over here, so time to take a more politically-conscious eye at the footballing world.
Blair, Berlusconi Salute Blatter’s Character and Integrity
The recent revival of the Sepp Blatter affair http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/33303066 has led two of the former FIFA President’s most faithful allies business partners supporters to pay tribute.. To this leading light of international gamesmanship… Uh, ‘sport.’ Tony Blair said: People are…
FIFA Joins Forces with ISIS: “It’s a Perfect Match”
FIFA president Sepp Blatter insists that he’s not using a fake name, but he also swears his sworn alliance to ISIS is likewise legitimate. FIFA and ISIS. One is a ruthless, soulless dictatorship that destroys everything in its path and…
With Tom Brady Suspension Looming, Patriots Introduce New QB
Foxborough, Massachusetts – Only hours after the NFL suspended two-time MVP quarterback, Tom Brady, for the first four games of the 2015 season, New England Patriots owner, Robert Kraft and head coach, Bill Belichick, announced the signing of the player…