Categorized | Sports Scandals

Blair, Berlusconi Salute Blatter’s Character and Integrity

Blair, Berlusconi Salute Blatter’s Character and Integrity

The recent revival of the Sepp Blatter affair http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/33303066

has led two of the former FIFA President’s most faithful allies business partners supporters to pay tribute..

To this leading light of international gamesmanship…

Uh, ‘sport.’

Tony Blair said:

People are criticizing Blatter now, but as I always say, ‘it’s not over ‘til it’s over.’ Just let History be the judge.

One day, the true genius and merit of Blatter will be recognized, and people will realize he was a strong, charismatic leader in a tight spot, who just did what he had to do.

Just like my old chum and fellow Euronationalist Angela, in a way. 😛

I mean, people may look back at his life and sneer or denounce him now, all because he is a dynamic figure who has never arrogantly disdained to seize the moment. But then, historical hindsight is 20/20, no doubt. After all, how could Sepp Blatter possibly have known that things would end up like this? I mean, how could he?

Now let me tell you, his enemies, as always, are setting an impossibly high bar for mere fallible creatures of flesh and blood, like you and…

Um, like many people.

No, you know what? Let’s not be prejudiced, bigoted or one-sidedly dogmatic about the policy measures of this man. Let’s free ourselves from self-righteous moralism and really break the mould, and look at this matter in the cold light of the Endless, Eternal Victory March of Universal Sporting History…

And not according to the customary, conventional, moralistic ways of thinking that so often fail to detect the hidden saints and angels among us.

You know, my faith tells me that every time we meet a stranger, or someone we simply cannot understand, we should be on our guard against idle mockery.

So, perhaps when you opportunistically demonize this innocent man in front of you, in a purely partisan, despicable and politically motivated manner, you will be mocking Christ himself!

I mean, I know what I’m talking about, believe you me! 😉

Silvio Berlusconi wept:

The harassment of this innocent man, it is without parallel in the sporting world.

In exchange for Blatter’s 17 years of selfless and disinterested devotion, he has been rewarded with unfounded accusations and a judgement that is founded on absolutely nothing.

Tell me, is this the way the footballing community intends to reward and recognize the sacrifices and commitment of the very best among them?

He is without doubt the person who has been the most persecuted in the history of the footballing world and in the annals of sportsmen.

In his own opinion, and not only mine, he is the best FIFA leader we can find today.

You know, he is the Jesus Christ of football, the Silvio Berlusconi of the sporting world.  He is a patient victim, he puts up with everyone, he sacrifices himself for the good of all sports fans, advertizers and investors.

These people who criticize Blatter, they are anthropologically different from other sportsmen. Perhaps they just want to run the three-legged race, who can say?

You know, Blatter was a cultured and civilized man, unlike the malodorous and badly dressed football fans, who have so unjustly demonized their great supporter and advocate.

And these so-called bribes were merely the worst faults of Blatter as a leader, who in so many other ways did well.

Sepp Blatter never killed anyone. He just discreetly exiled them from the face of this earth, if they stupidly refused to understand that a man who takes care of his own interests is also taking care of everyone else’s.

You know, all Blatter wanted to do was to betray those who looked him in the face…

Oh, wait… That is not…

Well, perhaps I shall stop here. Wa-ha-WAAAAAAAAAAAA! ;(

These rousing speeches were greeted with loud cheers in Millwall, while the Glazer family shed silent tears of solidarity.

***

Deja vu? I’m not surprised. Have a look at this…

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-15642201

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- who has written 313 posts on GlossyNews.com.

Conspirator-in-Chief of the Peace Criminals Project: Neocon Surveillance& Satirical-Industrial Complex! Also published on a range of satire sites. Currently co-editing Glossy News (under the webmaster, Brian K. White). Contact me to pitch or submit your satire! David Cameron says I am a #TerroristSympathizer. Islamists say I am an #Islamophobe. New Atheists think I am a #CravenApologistForPrimitiveBronzeAgeSuperstitions. MRAs & Alt-Right think I'm a #MatriarchalCuck. Others say I'm a #StraightMiddleClassWhiteBoy. And still more think I'm a #FuckingPleb. Just another edgy day at the Satirist's office! I am the Mayor of the Zero Fucks Community ;) @w_runnymede (Twitter) wallacerunnymede@gmail.com

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