Category: Religionism
France Protects Muslim Women’s Rights by Denying them Choice
The French National Assembly has voted overwhelmingly to ban burqas, with 335 in favor of the law and only one against it. This decision is in line with the international consensus that instead of what they do, what they say,…
Palin Voodoos Tina Fey
ST LOUIS CEMETERY #1, New Orleans (GlossyNews) — While on a lecture tour in New Orleans, Sarah Palin slipped away form her entourage and secretly visited a voodoo shop in the French Quarter. The owner already had the Tina Fey…
God and Devil Near Reconciliation; Supergroup to Re-form
Reports indicate Lucifer and the Almighty One may be close to a rapprochement that could bring Satan back to Heaven in a yet undisclosed role. St. Mark, spokesman for the Heavenly press office, continues to state that Lucifer left of…
Spontaneous Pot Combustion in Church Rectory Causes High Mass
WORCESTER, Massachusetts – (Glossy News) – Police and fire crews were called to Our Lady of Perpetual Forgiveness in Worcester, Massachusetts last Saturday evening when a church secretary called to report a strange smell emanating throughout the chapel where mass…
ET’s to End Earth Monitoring
ROSWELL, New Mexico (GlossyNews) — The Intergalactic Play Nice Force has decided to abandon Earth operations, so said District Superintendent Greg Gort today. “The IPNF really has no interest here anymore. It’s a wind-down, could take three Earth years at…
Mix-up in Hell Has Satan Sending More than One Anti-Christ to Earth
HOLLISTER, California (GLossyNews) — Satan is said to be madder than hell at his minions this week after he learned that more than one, and possibly as many as eight Anti-Christs have been unleashed upon the Earth during the past…
Catholic Church Finds Innocent Priest, Excommunicates Him
CASTRO STREET, San Fransisco, CA (GlossyNews) — The Catholic Church revealed Saturday morning that they had found one priest in Renton, Washington, whom, they say, has never committed any act of abuse or possibly any sin during his tenure as…
Helen Thomas Forced to Wear Scarlet Letter and Apologize
WASHINGTON, D.C. (GlossyNews) — Cantankerous malcontent and ex-reporter Helen Thomas, who recently had an unfortunate run-in with the Jewish-owned American media when she accidentally reminded everyone that Palestine is an occupied territory, is the latest celebrity forced to wear the…
Christian Group to Boycott Deviled Eggs
Sao Paulo, Brasil (GlossyNewsSA) Posted by your South America correspondents, Maria and Consuela Lopez. Patrons at “Betty’s Eat-n-Greet” in Bon Temps, Louisiana voiced mixed reactions today on learning controversial religious leader Fred Phelps is at it again in their neighborhood….
Icelanders Have Their Revenge, By Odin
Reykjavik, Iceland (GlossyNews) — Hammered by massive financial debts to Europe and Britain in particular, Iceland has come up with a hammer of its own to strike back with. Returning to its traditional religious roots and the old gods of…