Category: Society
Brutal Shopping Conditions Force Renaming to Black & Blue Friday
Traditionally, the Friday after Thanksgiving in America has always been known as Black Friday. This is a day when stores open their doors in the wee hours of the morning and offer the deepest discounts on popular items to give…
Thanksgiving Wiped Out By Halloween & X-Mas Cartels
The time honored and highly respected holiday of Thanksgiving was wiped out by the rival gang cartels of Halloween and Christmas this year. For many years the Halloween gang, characterized by bizarre, scary costumes, and the Christmas gang, recognizable by…
Jesus: “I Need a Militia Like I Need an A-hole on My Elbow”
ALANSON, Mich. (Glossy News) — When news reached Heaven that a Midwestern militia was discovered training Jesus on handling the upcoming rapture, the Son of God laughed and exclaimed, “I need a militia to help me like I need an…
Lady Gaga’s Urinal Collection Raising Eyebrows
NEW YORK, NY – There are collectors and then there are collectors — those who transcend the bounds of baubles and nostalgia to dabble in the truly unusual. Some people are content to save stamps or coins. Others express their…
Local Satirist Found Dead; Fowl Play Suspected
DUNCAN, OK (Glossynews)– A local satire writer has been found dead in front of his home from multiple gunshot wounds. The assault apparently took place late last night. Police aren’t releasing any information, but several alleged eyewitnesses who prefer to…
TSA Anger Leads Nudist Airlines to Growth, Uprising
Nature Air CEO Calvin Klavan is quick to tell reporters he doesn’t like the term ‘nudist.’ “We’re not nudists; we’re naturists. When you cloth-backs go to the zoo, do you marvel at the ‘nude’ animals? No, of course you don’t….
TSA Screener Detects Testicular Cancer in Traveler, Saves Life.
SAN NARCISO, Calif. — Ceremonies will be held today in honor of William Fallopian, a local San Narciso boy turned hero. Fallopian, son of Mike Fallopian, a well known Yoyodyne executive and chairman of the Peter Pinguid Society, works for…
Black Friday Specials Rumored to Include Food for the Poor
Women, Infants and Children (WIC) take heart. This year, Black Friday specials offered by stores such as Wal-Mart, K-Mart, Target, Sam’s Club and others aren’t all about the X-Box. They are all about survival. Instead of offering Wii’s for less…
Driver Shaving Bikini Line Charged with “Unfortunate Accident”
TAMPA, Fla. (Glossy News) — A Florida woman on her way to visit her boyfriend had an accident on busy US Highway 1 today. Investigating officers say the accident occurred while the driver was temporarily distracted giving herself a bikini…
TSA Groping Incident Attracts New Employees to Agency
LOS ANGELES, Calif. (Glossy News) — Since the recent incident between Southern California resident John Tyner and the Transportation Security Administration (TSA), which involved the now infamous “groping” scandal, travelers are debating whether to continue moving about the Land of…