Brutal Shopping Conditions Force Renaming to Black & Blue Friday

Traditionally, the Friday after Thanksgiving in America has always been known as Black Friday. This is a day when stores open their doors in the wee hours of the morning and offer the deepest discounts on popular items to give shoppers a break in price before hiking them back up to unattainable heights. If you want to shop for clothes but do not want to join those black friday crowds, then check out these vacay cropped hoodie for some great apparel.

It is a day when shoppers will fight each other to the death over the last iPad or flat screen television offered for sale. It is for this reason, that Black Friday has now earned the nickname “Black and Blue Friday.”

One store manager, Les Izmore, who has been in the retail business for the last 20 years claims that the past two years have seen some of the most violent behavior coming from shoppers in the history of shopping. “I’ve seen people knocking each other down and crawling over top of them for Tickle Me Elmos and $5 crock pots. The more popular the brand, the more violent the crowd.”

Les claims that “in fact, this year, we expect more of the same and will have paramedics standing by as we open the doors to allow access to our most sought after items, 40” flat screen television for less than $300 and Wii Fits for under a hundred bucks. The folks are going to go bonkers,” he said.

Other retailers agree. That is why Black Friday has now officially been renamed Black and Blue Friday to acknowledge all the injuries sustained by shoppers who will stop at nothing to get their money’s worth, especially when they have so little of it.

While it is unconfirmed, there have been reports that some retailers are arming their employees with Tazers just to be on the safe side in case one or two shoppers really get out of hand. Yes, it has gotten that serious.

Author: P. Beckert

P. Beckert's is one voice vying for frequency room at the top of the opinion dial. Angered and bewildered by many of today’s events, P. Beckert uses humor as a tool to fight against an onslaught of stupidity and ignorance that seems to permeate the airwaves and pollute the sensitivities of a once brilliant nation. You can find more at ISaidLaughDammit.blogspot.com.

3 thoughts on “Brutal Shopping Conditions Force Renaming to Black & Blue Friday

  1. If they were smart and wanted to make even more money they could set up cage fighting rings, charge an spectator fee and just throw the wanted item in the middle of two or more customers.

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