Category: Society
Facebook Man Skips Attractive Woman’s Cat Pictures
INDIANAPOLIS – Drawn to an alluring profile picture of an attractive work acquaintance named Danielle, Indianapolis man Mark Vasey subconsciously skipped past all of the 24-year-old’s cat pictures Saturday. Initially clicking on her latest profile picture, which shows the young…
Researchers Unlock Key to Happy Marriage: Let Wives Do Housework
Hard to believe? Then maybe you’ll believe a study which concluded that marriages where the women do all the housework while the men retreat to the parlor to smoke cigars, read the newspaper and discuss politics with other men in…
Fewer Trick-Or-Treaters Than 20 Years Ago, Lament Nation’s Pedophiles
INDIANAPOLIS – Ahead of this year’s Halloween, the nation’s pedophiles lamented Monday the relatively low number of children seen trick-or-treating on the streets in recent years. Recalling a time when groups of young children would freely mobilize between houses in…
Yes Virginia, We’ll Protect Your Vagina
Planned Parenthood today issued a public announcement that they were no longer taking the continued attacks on their services lying down. In a coordinated effort with several law groups, a new service being offered is to legally incorporate your uterus….
Cat Subconsciously Putting Own Sensibilities Onto Humans
INDIANAPOLIS – Having carried out little research into the species in question, 2-year-old Indianapolis cat, Mickey, continues to subconsciously put his own sensibilities onto humans – specifically his 29-year-old owner Matt. Incorrectly determining that his overlord probably enjoys the sight…
Richard Murdock’s Senate Campaign in Disarray As God Comes Out Pro Choice
INDIANAPOLIS – The senate campaign of Indiana’s leading Republican candidate, Richard Mourdock, is reportedly in disarray Tuesday after the Almighty Father in Heaven identified himself as pro-choice. God’s stance on the issue of abortion comes as a particular blow to…
Airports Taking Customers For More of a Ride Than Ever
Airports, seeking to get more money out of passengers exiting through their gates on international flights, have come up with inventive new ways of sucking the money out of their pockets. RIGHT: This is not a video, but a photo……
The People’s Republic of Uzupis Takes Political Independence to New Heights
THE PEOPLE’S REPUBLIC OF UZUPIS – In 1991 the people of Lithuania declared their independence from the Soviet Union. In 1997 the people of Uzupis, a district of Vilnius, the capital of Lithuania, declared their independence from Lithuania and got…
Student Cramming in Some Last Minute Procrastination
MUNCIE, IN – Ahead of his first midterm exam Monday, Ball State University English major, Ross O’Keefe, was hard at work Sunday cramming in some much-needed and last minute procrastination. Equipping himself with the tools required to compose a detailed…
“Roof of My Mouth Feels Pruny” Says Man on Mushrooms
William Bergerson, a 22-year-old student at the University of Michigan, recently told this Glossy News reporter that the roof of his mouth “totally feels pruny.” He was tripping on mushrooms at the time, but insisted that had nothing to do…