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Facebook Man Skips Attractive Woman’s Cat Pictures

Facebook Man Skips Attractive Woman’s Cat Pictures

INDIANAPOLIS – Drawn to an alluring profile picture of an attractive work acquaintance named Danielle, Indianapolis man Mark Vasey subconsciously skipped past all of the 24-year-old’s cat pictures Saturday.

Initially clicking on her latest profile picture, which shows the young marketing consultant lounging by a swimming pool in nothing but a skimpy bikini, Vasey was relatively disappointed to discover that the next three images were exclusively of her cat, Charlie.

“I’ve always wondered what Danielle looks like outside of work,” said the 32-year-old, harmlessly navigating through her profile. “I mean, you don’t fully get to know a person while you’re… okay, she seems to like her cat a lot. Let’s see where the good pictures are hiding.”

Narrowing his search by clicking on “Photos of Danielle”, Vasey eagerly scanned through images showing his female colleague at home and out with friends, promptly skipping over numerous grainy images of the young woman posing with her two children in a park.

“So she’s a mom,” continued Vasey, making a mental note that Danielle therefore likely has a boyfriend or husband. “There must be some more images where she’s on her own around here somewhere.”

After reportedly working his way through 57 images, including several of Danielle holding her cat, cuddling her 90-year-old grandmother, and one of her wearing braces in sixth grade, Vasey’s attention was eventually directed elsewhere when he noticed that Angela from accounts was tagged in one of the photos.

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This post was written by

- who has written 161 posts on GlossyNews.com.

Laurence Brown is an award-winning comedic journalist based in Indianapolis, Indiana, who has edited several satirical news papers since 1999. Hailing from the United Kingdom, he has also written plays and short stories. He has a bachelor's degree in English and Creative Writing from Lancaster University. This article was originally published by The Indy Tribune.

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3 Responses to “Facebook Man Skips Attractive Woman’s Cat Pictures”

  1. Brian K. White says:

    I’m sure this has never happened. That’s why it’s satire, right?

  2. Bee says:

    This man has absolutely no morality, he is exactly what is wrong with the world.

  3. Rayna Thornborough says:

    Brownie needs to STFU because he’s simply jealous he doesn’t (and DIDN’T) possess the adequate wisdom and mental capacity to properly address KATRINA unlike Christie and Obama who just wanted to help people overcome a storm that (because of a lack of admission regarding climate change) shouldn’t have happened. YES I SAID IT and I’m from HOBOKEN where we’re hurting.

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