Category: Society
Glossy News Scoop: First Ever Interview w/ the One and only James Bond
Glossy News has succeeded in scoring the first ever interview with that icon of masculinity and daring do, that virile epitome of super secret spydom, that name that causes gorgeous women’s inner plumbing to contract in excited anticipation, the one,…
Marriage Tip: When Black Friday Shopping, Avoid Impulse Purchases
It started out innocently enough. My wife asked me to go to Costco because we were low on shampoo. Perhaps I should not have gone on Black Friday, when Costco had everything on sale. The second I breached the entrance…
How to Lose Weight the (Cheap &/or?) Easy Way
I meant to write this 20 or 30 pounds ago, but I wasn’t yet fully sure it wasn’t an anomaly, so I held off. But I’ve kept shedding the pounds, so I feel inclined to share. You know, for the…
97-Year-Old Walmart Employee Granted Early Retirement
Norma Harris, 97, of Rogers, Arkansas, will be granted early retirement from her full time position as a Walmart greeter after 44 years of employment with the mega-retailer. Harris will be the first person in Walmart history to be paid…
200 Cows Standing in a Field (or Not)
ORLANDO–My choice to drive State Road 528 over to Orlando International instead of my usual route via Highway 1-92 through Kissimmee proved premonition pops up more often than not. The emergency broadcast system cut off Buckethead and the crew over…
Christmas Moved to February
After years of complaining by stressed out shoppers and overworked retailers, the Catholic Church has finally moved the year’s most important holiday. From now on, Christmas will be celebrated in early February. Despite the doctrine of papal infallibility, the Church…
ATOS Declares Dead Man Fit for Work
In a shocking lapse of judgement last week, an assessor from ATOS Origin placed James Wright, 62, in the ‘fit for work’ group mere moments after he had suffered a fatal stroke. “It was a nightmare,” Rosemary, Mr. Wright’s widow,…
Girl Scouts Rappel Off the Fiscal Cliff for IKEA
DENVER–One hundred girls celebrated the one hundredth anniversary of the Girl Scouts today by dangling off the fiscal cliff. All participants wore safety gear while standing on the rungs of a mile-long rope ladder lashed together by scouts rocking the…
That One Friend Bores You with All The Details Regardless
INDIANAPOLIS – Describing a mildly amusing incident that occurred during a recent visit to the mall Monday, that one friend of yours who is perfectly nice but won’t ever shut up, proceeded to bore you with all of the details…
Sign the Petition to Create a Single-Payer Healthcare System
Glossy News editor Brian K. White has create a petition to the White House to create a single-payer healthcare system. Please take a moment to sign it. UPDATE 11/17/12: Behold the power of GlossyNews.com… the petition reached the signature threshold…