Category: Health
Hog Farmers Proudly Sell Parts Right to the Bitter, Musky Ends
Social media has blown up with images of an actual box of American made pork product, the “Boneless Pork Rectum, Inverted”. We take you inside this unusual treat. Boneless means without bone. Pork is the industry term for pig products….
Militant Crossfit Group Claims Responsibility in Suicide Bombing of 24-Hour Fitness
SAN DIEGO, CA. The brutal conflict between traditional, moderate fitness aficionados at franchise gyms and the growing radical Crossfit movement escalated tragically yesterday, as a suicide bomb exploded in a 24-Hour Fitness in the LaJolla neighborhood of San Diego, killing…
New Study Shows the Mexican Cartel to Be “Bunch of Homos(exuals)”
A new study done by the Political Association of Immigration Soldiers and American Students reveals the Mexican Cartel, the same people that love to molest its house rats (no, not their children), to be having mass intercourse with one another.
“Yucky World” Guest Topic: Is government product safety running amok?
Announcer: Some people believe the federal government is going overboard in its efforts to protect us from hurting ourselves. “Yucky World” talk show hosts Dick and Janey will be discussing this issue with their guest, Consumer Protection Agency representative Miss…
Cancer to be Rebranded the ‘Super King Slimming Disease’ by Cigarette Companies
Court documents revealed today in a US class action have described what the big tobacco firms intend to do, now that their growing markets in the emerging economies are becoming more aware of the associated health risks of smoking. The…
Flo to Use Charm to ‘Perk-Up’ Obamacare
Flo, the permanently perky face of Progressive Insurance, has been named new Secretary of Health and Human Services replacing outgoing HHS czar Kathleen Sebelius. President Obama made the announcement last night. The decision was a tough one and President Obama…
Teens in School Tour Bus Crash Catch Fire; Parents Glad it Wasn’t Aids
Parents of teenagers that were severely Jewed alive in the school tour bus crash in Los Angeles are now relieved from the good news that was delivered to them this week. The smarty-pant scientists confirmed this morning that the school…
Cleveland Man Content with Penis Size
LAKEWOOD, OH—Jeffery Miller, a car mechanic based in the Cleveland area, is reportedly happy with the length, girth, and performance of his penis. “Yeah, it’s pretty good, I guess,” says Miller, 36. “I’ve never had any problems with it, and…
President Obama Promotes Healthcare.gov with Jackass-Style Stunt Reel
WASHINGTON, D.C.—“I’m Barack Obama, the 44th President of the United States of America, and this is Jackass.” So begins the president’s latest viral video—a 22-minute series of dangerous and immature stunts styled after the MTV show “Jackass.” The video is…
CNN Caught Scanning Glossynews.com For Story Ideas
Once again, the mainstream media has swooped in to steal our precious exclusive. We reported it first, but CNN & reality had a different idea when they took the story from the realm of satire into public consciousness. These stories…