Cancer to be Rebranded the ‘Super King Slimming Disease’ by Cigarette Companies

Court documents revealed today in a US class action have described what the big tobacco firms intend to do, now that their growing markets in the emerging economies are becoming more aware of the associated health risks of smoking.

The highly confidential meeting minutes include the admittance that claiming that it is unproven that there is a link between inhaling vast amount of addictive, toxic, carcinogenic chemicals day after day for years is hazardous to health is unproven, has now become ‘like the lack of the mention of dinosaurs in the bible, in other words somewhat difficult to defend, except of course to stupid people’.

The documents, also contained the preliminary outline of a proposed pro-cancer PR campaign, it was to suggest that cancer treatment is ‘Ideal for those already going bald’ or those seeking to lose weight’.

A TV add campaign was proposed with a middle aged man claiming the benefits of lung cancer ‘you can stay in bed longer, receive sympathy from strangers, emotionally blackmail relatives and cause extra stress to the same people by claiming it’s hereditary.’

But perhaps the most disturbing revelation was the proposed billboards stating:
‘Those with health insurance – get something back for the years of putting in
Those without – be happy you’ve lasted this long’.

Author: Arthur Nee