Cameroon Corruption: Force 9 on Beaufort Scale

Amidst a growing maelstrom of rumour, gossip and scandal Cameroon’s security chief Rastus Chuckabutty has finally admitted some 300,000 people hoping to get jobs in the police force have written, phoned or e-mailed him directly begging for preferential treatment – most of them his relatives – or someone related to someone who knows someone else who knew someone his mother used to buy voodoo dolls from. Read more Cameroon Corruption: Force 9 on Beaufort Scale

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Grandpa Arrested for Calling Spade a “Damn Spade”

Has the E-USSR bestowing Big Brother Gestapo-style powers on the UK’s local council bureaucratic jobsworths and their PFI housing association gophers gone totally to their heads? Do you believe the adage that power tends to corrupt – but those of shallow souls and minds, given power, are corrupted absolutely? Yes – Absolutely – with a capital ‘A’. Read more Grandpa Arrested for Calling Spade a “Damn Spade”

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The Bank Raid that Rocked the Met’

A horror story that has it’s Kafkaesque–Orwellian origins rooted in the date of 2nd June 2008, has now come – a year and a half later – a haunting full-circle from when more than 500 of the Met’s finest plods smashed their way into thousands of safety-deposit boxes to retrieve guns, gold, drugs and zillions of quidsworth of criminal assets – or at least that’s what their Snitchford-based ‘Think Tank’ had planned for Operation Rize Krispies. Read more The Bank Raid that Rocked the Met’

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Trigger Happy Cops Off Scot-Free on “My Bad” Defense

The UK’s Independent Police Complaints Commission today publicly announced its disgraceful and scandalous decision not to censure or prosecute the shit-for-brains gun-toting plods who couldn’t tell the difference between a fanatical Ethiopian suicide bombing Jihadi terrorist and a happy-go-lucky Latino Brazilian electrician – all friendly smiles and white teeth – so shot the electrician just to be on the safe side. Read more Trigger Happy Cops Off Scot-Free on “My Bad” Defense

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Karma: Riot Cops Gas Themselves

Eighteen trainee officers have suffered burns to the faces, gone blind and had their lungs permanently damaged during a CS gas spray training exercise for the Greater Manchester Police’s ‘Riot Plod Squad’. The rookie recruits – hired from the redundant ranks of New Labour’s quango Renta-Thug sadist agency – were made to walk through clouds of the chemical mist to experience what it would be like to be ‘herding and kettling’ crowds of unruly jobless peasant demonstrators and other domestic terrorist types without the protection of gas masks. Read more Karma: Riot Cops Gas Themselves

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Cops Can’t be Trusted with Fines

According to a report just released by the UK’s Manky Magistrates Commission the nation’s Plod Squads cannot be trusted to hand out summary justice and will act as “Prosecutor, Judge and Jury” if given further God-like powers to issue on-the-spot fines for simple civil offences – and more serious crimes such as arson, rape or putting your wheelie bin out too early. Read more Cops Can’t be Trusted with Fines

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Police Chief Faces Racist Probe from “Damn Darkies”

According to a report leaked to the Daily Shitraker by an anonymous source inside the Metropolitan Police Authority (Sergeant Candida Muffrot) an independent investigation has begun into claims of racism against Ms. Catherine Crawfish, the 95-year old Gorgonesque chief executive of the MPA. Read more Police Chief Faces Racist Probe from “Damn Darkies”

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Innovative Cops Boost Income by Robbing Cars

While there’s nothing unusual about discovering items of value have been stolen from unlocked (or locked) parked cars – including the actual car wheels or engine – or the car itself – by opportunist thieving Pikey scallies during the deepening recession, it may well come as a bit of a surprise to learn the ‘culprit’ was a member of your local Plod Squad. Read more Innovative Cops Boost Income by Robbing Cars

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