Category: Crime
An Interview With Osama bin Laden (Yes, we know that he is already dead)
… but we aren’t going to let that stop us… Glossynews has gained the unique opportunity to interview the infamous terrorist Osama bin Laden, the instigator of the 911 attacks on the U.S.. Reaching him at his present location in…
Police Excuses As To Why They Threw A Fifteen Year Old Black, Bikini Clad, Barefoot Girl To The Ground And Pinned Her Down In McKinney, Texas.
“She might have had an Uzi in her panties.” “She could be a Kung-Fu expert and have attacked all nine of us and beaten us up.” “They could have had this whole pool party rigged with explosives Columbine style and…
DADDS Drunk Driver System Promises More Hassle, Road Deaths
NHTSA is seriously considering a mandate to put breathalyzers in every single new car on the road. Not only is the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration considering it, they’ve been funding its research since 2008 with millions already invested. Sure,…
The News (Really) Bytes – May 2015
Cleveland, Ohio Police Chief says that 71 people arrested while protesting the acquittal of a police officer who shot to death two unarmed black drivers was because “a few of them went over the line.” Of course, shooting two people…
George Zimmerman Loses Guns, Gains 2003 Ford F-350
George Zimmerman, best known for shooting and killing the unarmed 17 year-old African-American Trayvon Martin, was back in a Seminole County Courthouse this week, having been arrested for and summarily convicted of aggravated assault for allegedly throwing a wine bottle…
Misspelled Sign Places Pep Boys in Hot Water
Portland, Oregon – Manny, Moe & Jack may soon be changing their names to Fanny, Blow & Whack following the grand opening of the newest Pep Boys store on Alberta Street in downtown Portland on Saturday morning. Prior to opening…
Serial Peeping Tom “Dirty” Joe Palestine Thanks Supporters
NEW BRUNSWICK, NJ – In an interview with Glossy News, Middlesex Adult Corrections Facility inmate “Dirty” Joe Palestine proclaimed his innocence and announced his heartfelt appreciation for the millions of people around the world who agree that Palestine deserves his…
Woman Who Regularly Chastises People for Offensive Jokes Now ‘Stands with Charlie Hebdo’
Accompanied by her usual catch phrase, “this is NOT ok,” 25-year-old Katherine James posted an article on Facebook Wednesday night about how the tragic events regarding the French satire publication Charlie Hebdo “is a sad day for the freedom of…
Extremist Group Exercises its Freedom of Religion on NAACP Building
A Montana neo-Nazi extremist organization, The Color White, Inc., claimed responsibility earlier today for the recent bombing of a building in Colorado Springs, owned by the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP). The building, including the part…
Sony Pulls Out Just before Big Release
Just over a week before the climactic release of Sony Picture’s “The Interview” starring Seth Rogan and James Franco, the studio has decided to pull out. Sony has received a serious pounding after hackers gained access to the back door…