Categorized | Celebrity Gossip, Crime

Sony Pulls Out Just before Big Release

Sony Pulls Out Just before Big Release

Just over a week before the climactic release of Sony Picture’s “The Interview” starring Seth Rogan and James Franco, the studio has decided to pull out.

Sony has received a serious pounding after hackers gained access to the back door of the movie studio’s network.

With releases of salaries, social security numbers, and AIM exchanges, Sony’s stock is experiencing shrinkage as hackers are expected to tear further into the private sections of Sony’s database.

“The Interview” was going to continue with its scheduled December 25th release, until the hackers known as “The Guardians of Peace” threatened a 9-11 style attack on any movie theater that shows the film.

A spokesperson had this to say, “We all want to stand hard and firm against terrorism, but sometimes it’s better to retreat back inside.

No one wants to be responsible for another person’s life just for the sake of entertainment, and because of this, it is always a good philosophy to just pull out.”


This post was written by

- who has written 7 posts on

Sharif is getting his masters degree in professional writing at the University of Southern California. His turn ons include cars, cartoons, and bronies. His turn offs include smart phones, people on bikes, and women who act like they're "pretty much a dude" when really they're like not even. His favorite candies come from windowless vans.


2 Responses to “Sony Pulls Out Just before Big Release”

  1. rfreed says:

    What we have essentially done is cow-towed to an obnoxious, arrogant creep of a ‘World leader’ who has more interest in running a movie into the ground than feeding his own people.
    Now that he knows he can get away with this intimidation of Sony he will try a similar thing again.

    He reminds me of someone else in the same mold. I think his name is something like ‘putin’, as in “puttin’ on a big act.”.

  2. Kilroy says:

    Screw SONY. This is a well disguised plot against Seth Rogan. The North Koreans hate Seth Rogen. With good reason, though.

    On a side note, SONY would be wise to pull the plug on next year’s Christmas movie, “Bang, Bang, Pootie Dead”. Or as they say in Mississippi, “DAY-ED”.


Leave a Reply

We are also looking for a satire editor
and a Clever Photoshop Guru...
We Made a Movie!

Check us out on Kickstarter!

Glossy News Exclusive Exposés

-- (SEE ALL Videos) --

Glossy News Fake Commercials!

More Great Satire:

Check out links to even more of our friends...
Want to see Your Link Here?

Our Top Authors (last 30-days)

All of Our Categories:

Top Stories - Top Stories; Politics - Top Stories; Serious Commentary - Top Stories; World News - Top Stories; Biz News - Top Stories; War Zone | Horoscopes
Entertainment - Entertainment; Celebrity Gossip - Entertainment; Television - Entertainment; Music - Entertainment; Internet Tubes - Entertainment; Books, Newspapers & Misc - Entertainment; Movies
Society - Society; Health - Society; Crime - Society; Travel - Society; Crooked Cops - Society; Education - Society; Strange People - Society; Religionism - Society; Human Interest - Society; Kidz Zone
Science and Technology - Science and Technology; Science - Science and Technology; Technology - Science and Technology; Gadgets & Gizmos - Science and Technology; Environment
Sports - Sports; Scandals - Sports; Athletes - Sports; Events | All the Rest - News in Your Briefs - Making Headlines - Opinion/Editorial