Category: Crime
Valentine’s Day Condom Heists Puzzle Store Owners
Multiple stores across the nation are just now reporting a significant increase in stolen condoms the week before Valentine’s Day. When asked for comment on the increase in theft, one store owner had this to say: “I understand the motivation,…
Casey Anthony Jurors Ask Judge if They Can ‘Take it Back’
ORLANDO, FL – In yet another shocking twist for a case that has gripped the nation, the 12 jurors who voted to acquit Casey Anthony of all murder charges in the death of her daughter Caylee, appear to be more…
Dominique Strauss-Kahn Claims Luck Helped in Choosing Perfect Victim
Dominique Strauss-Kahn smiled broadly for the cameras as he and his wife left a NY courtroom Friday after being told by a judge that he was being released on his own recognizance. The dark veil of accountability for his actions…
Narco-Terrorism Tour for Fearless Gringos Announced
Nuevo Laredo, Mexico – GlossyNews.com – The Nuevo Laredo Tourist Department (NLTD) has announced its newest tourist attraction, the Narco-Terrorism Tour for Gringos, which is to be launched August 10 from Nuevo Laredo, Mexico. “This exciting adventure will appeal to…
Mafia Gangster Admits to Sex Change, Not for Disguise
New York. – GlossyNews.com – Vinnie Gelano (“Big Jelly”) always knew he was really a girl. “Even when I was collecting from deadbeats out on the street, breaking bones, whatever, I always knew I had this soft spot inside, a…
Lady Liberty Loses Innocence to Greedy Suitors
It was a heinous act; too vile and too great for our minds to even truly comprehend. Lady Liberty, our much beloved symbol of America, was assaulted and callously violated today in an attack that has left the nation breathless…
Wikileaks Founder Charged w/ Molesting Dozens of Political Careers
Washington 0500hrs: Creepy-looking founder of Wikileaks and alleged evil genius, Julian Assange, has officially been charged by prosecutors in Florida with molesting at least 26 political careers over the course of a single week last year. The controversial figurehead and…
Rahm Emanuel Admits “The Rich Pay Barely Any Taxes”
Erstwhile White house adviser Rahm Emanuel has taken his hat out of that ring, and thrown it into the one that allows him to run for Mayor of Chicago. Along the way, however, he has been forced to disclose his…
Arizona Shooter Cast as Uncle Fester in Franchise Reboot
Although the criminal case against accused gunman, Jared Lee Loughner, is just beginning, one thing is for certain, he’s going to prison. And if the administrators over at the infamous Supermax facility in Fremont County, Colorado have anything to say…
Shocking Truth Behind Highest Level Religious Moves Towards Social Media
THE VATICAN, ROME —BobZaguy Socio-political similarities have surfaced between the two most famous world-class conservative church leaders who publicly don’t seem to pay much mind to each other. However, two bone-shaking statements were made a few days apart by the…