Category: Science
Giant Sinkhole Draining Gulf of Mexico
NAPLES, FL – Despite warnings of rising coastal waters around the globe, scientists, in late 2012, found that the coastal waters abutting the Gulf of Mexico were actually declining at a rate of .001 (1/1000) inches per month. While in…
Strange Hieroglyphics Found on Russian Meteorite
Chelyabinsk, Russia – Scientists have located a large chunk of the Chelyabinsk meteorite that came crashing down in Siberia on February 15, causing injuries in this small village in the Ural region of Russia. The fragment was recovered from Lake…
China Lays Blame for Lunar Disaster On Female Driver
At a press conference Saturday China announced its lunar mission was in danger and appeared to lay blame on it’s female rover. The rover, named Yutu and translated as “Rickshaw Woman”, got off to a rocky start when it overshot…
Scientists Discover Modern World “May Be Bad For You”
A recent scientific discovery claims that modern conveniences are having negative side-effects on the mental and bodily health of many first-world inhabitants. Scientists from around the globe report today that modern conveniences, such as the luxury of remaining stationary and…
Ten Year Government Study Concludes People Like Beaches
Amity Island, FL – A recently completed government financed study of people’s weekend and holiday habits has concluded that people like beaches. “We weren’t sure why people were going to the seashore.” said lead research scientist Phil Pockets. “Was it…
Punxsutawney Phil Delegates Groundhogging Duties to Maringouin Mike
Citing career fatigue and the desire to sleep in on Super Bowl Sunday, Punxsutawney Phil announced today he will delegate his annual weather prognostication to longtime Louisiana business associate Maringouin Mike. “I’m proud to announce that Maringouin Mike will take…
Theory Universe Just A Hologram “Really Messes With Peoples Heads”
An article in the Huffington Post (Science section, Dec. 12) titled ‘Is The Universe A Hologram? Physicists Say It’s Possible’ is causing queasiness amongst many in the world, especially those in a perpetual state of pot induced highness. Our intrepid…
Sheldon- The Gold Standard For Geekdom
Words alone cannot describe the wonderfulness of Sheldon Cooper. The main star of the television series ‘The Big Bang Theory’ has set the new bar high for all those nerdists who will surely follow in his footsteps hereafter. He is…
WWII-Era Sub Found At 7-Eleven
O’AHU, HAWAII — Researchers in Hawaii have uncovered a World War II-era submarine sandwich inside the island’s only 7-Eleven store location. The sub, known in the early 1940s as a “Spam-n-Depression Special” is made up of mostly Spam, lettuce and…
Yuppies Demand That Science Classify Themselves Seperate Species
Yuppies, those demi-gods who live amongst us mere mortals do have a hard go of it. They, by their very existence, are refined creatures so much better than you or I who are mere mortals suckling the earth for survival….