Categorized | Science

Ten Year Government Study Concludes People Like Beaches

Ten Year Government Study Concludes People Like Beaches

Amity Island, FL - A recently completed government financed study of people’s weekend and holiday habits has concluded that people like beaches.

“We weren’t sure why people were going to the seashore.” said lead research scientist Phil Pockets. “Was it something encoded in our DNA? Did people feel socially obligated to build sand castles and sing songs while roasting marshmallows around a bonfire? Nobody knew.”

Researchers combined state-of-the-art hidden cameras and microphones, remote sensing magnetic resonance imaging devices and infrared drones in their study.

“After a decade of painstaking effort, we have definitively determined that people simply enjoy going to the beach,” said Pockets.

The ten year 27 million dollar study was funded by taxpayer grants from the federal National Institute of Health.

Share

This post was written by

- who has written 55 posts on GlossyNews.com.

The less I say the safer I'll be.

.

3 Responses to “Ten Year Government Study Concludes People Like Beaches”

  1. What about the people who don't like going the beach? Where is there study? What about them? What about me?

  2. Bee says:

    What about the people who don’t like going the beach? Where is there study? What about them? What about me?

  3. deeptrout says:

    I’m not sure to whom I should respond…

Trackbacks/Pingbacks


Leave a Reply


We are also looking for a satire editor
and a Clever Photoshop Guru...
Glossy News Fake Commercials!


-- (SEE ALL GlossyNews.com Videos) --



More Great Satire:

Check out links to even more of our friends...
Want to see Your Link Here?



Visit the “Old Version” of our Site

     
Still want more? Find thousands of buried satirical gems in our archives on the old version of Glossy News!

Check This Out!

Our Top Authors (last 30-days)

9 posts
5 posts
2 posts
2 posts
2 posts
1 post
1 post
1 post


All of Our Categories:

Top Stories - Top Stories; Politics - Top Stories; Serious Commentary - Top Stories; World News - Top Stories; Biz News - Top Stories; War Zone | Horoscopes
Entertainment - Entertainment; Celebrity Gossip - Entertainment; Television - Entertainment; Music - Entertainment; Internet Tubes - Entertainment; Books, Newspapers & Misc - Entertainment; Movies
Society - Society; Health - Society; Crime - Society; Travel - Society; Crooked Cops - Society; Education - Society; Strange People - Society; Religionism - Society; Human Interest - Society; Kidz Zone
Science and Technology - Science and Technology; Science - Science and Technology; Technology - Science and Technology; Gadgets & Gizmos - Science and Technology; Environment
Sports - Sports; Scandals - Sports; Athletes - Sports; Events | All the Rest - News in Your Briefs - Making Headlines - Opinion/Editorial