Ten Year Government Study Concludes People Like Beaches

Amity Island, FL – A recently completed government financed study of people’s weekend and holiday habits has concluded that people like beaches.

“We weren’t sure why people were going to the seashore.” said lead research scientist Phil Pockets. “Was it something encoded in our DNA? Did people feel socially obligated to build sand castles and sing songs while roasting marshmallows around a bonfire? Nobody knew.”

Researchers combined state-of-the-art hidden cameras and microphones, remote sensing magnetic resonance imaging devices and infrared drones in their study.

“After a decade of painstaking effort, we have definitively determined that people simply enjoy going to the beach,” said Pockets.

The ten year 27 million dollar study was funded by taxpayer grants from the federal National Institute of Health.

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