Category: Science & Technologizzy
Something Lewd And Disgusting Is Happening In Our Woods
There is a great and disgusting problem afoot and I would like to ask you, dear readers, to help me in the eradication of it. I would like to create a petition and get as many concerned Americans as possible…
Environmentalists Unite To Support Effing Fracking In California??? What The Frack?
A strange new development has occurred in the continued battle behind the oil industry and environmentalists over the use of fracking. Fracking, for those unfamiliar with the term, is the new art of pumping chemical laden water back into an…
A Bag For Life Not Just For Christmas
Following the extremely successful campaign ‘A Dog is For Life Not Just For Christmas’ the Dogs Trust have strayed a little from their charter by embracing the same slogan for ‘bag for life’. The Dogs Trust have found that there…
Too Much Data? Google To Lease Storage Space In People’s Heads
Internet giant Google has come up with a solution to its data storage problems. The exponential growth in the use of the Internet has caused many of the top web site facilities to experience excruciating problems with where to put…
Leaked Torture Study Truly Unbelievable
What follows is an excerpt from a leaked torture study titled Judicious Use of Cognitive and Physical Trauma to Elicit Psychic Response–By Dr.Gunter Chang. This is not for the feint of heart or the wobbly of knees. Read ahead with…
I Bought My Computer, But Bill Gates Still Owns It
At least that’s the way it seems… I bought my Sony Vaio Mini (which I am happy with except for its unfortunate affiliation with the a fore mentioned gentleman) after a bad run of karma with my prior two computers….
Osama’s “24”; Transition to Hell Documented
Anxious to give Hollywood even more in-depth details surrounding the hunt and “sanctioned removal” of Osama Bin Laden, the Obama Administration has unwittingly acknowledged the existence of innovative new technology. Using the Baal2012 SuperComputer leased by StrangleCorp, the government has…
StrangleCorp to Bid on Navy Rail Gun Project
StrangleCorp has announced its intention to bid on the Navy’s Electromagnetic Railgun Project after the current testing cycle is complete. “We’ve been watching BAE System’s and General Atomics’ progress through the prototype stage very closely and we’re pretty confident that…
In Animal Kingdom, Doin’ Big Nasty Is Sometimes Real Nasty
Human beings appear to be the only creatures that can have sex sheerly out of pleasure. The animals seem to do it mostly as a matter of course. I mean, can you imagine a lobster having pleasure out of intercourse?…
Train Obliterates Texting Driver; Darwin Unsurprised
Paranormal investigators have recently reported unprecedented EMF activity, with some saying it’s like Stephen King got struck by lightning. Those off the dial readings are attributed to a curious event in the life of Theresa Caputo, star of TLC’s “Long…