Archive | Television

Glenn Beck’s Daughter Sells Daddy’s Drool on E-Bay

Glenn Beck’s Daughter Sells Daddy’s Drool on E-Bay

Learning that his middle daughter was jonesing to go to Columbia University, Glenn Beck refused to pay for her tuition, stating “if you want to attend some hippie, liberal, communist center of lower learning in the middle of freaking Harlem, you won’t be doing it on my dime, sweetheart.” Continue Reading

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21/12/2012: Oprah-Geddon Approaches

21/12/2012: Oprah-Geddon Approaches

2012 is coming – approaching fast. A time to be afraid – very afraid – as the threadbare cliché goes. Actually I’d advise you to be more than very afraid – shit-scared would be more appropriate, in point in fact.

21/12/2012 – the end of the World as we know it – and all thanks to Oprah Winfrey. Continue Reading

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Shock Jocks “Ant & Dec” to Interview Royal Princes

Shock Jocks “Ant & Dec” to Interview Royal Princes

It was announced by Clarence House this week that as part of the 30th anniversary celebrations for The Prince’s Trust, HRH Prince Charles, and sons Wills and Harry will demean their Royal dignity to a fresh low in being interviewed by the oafish TV double-act of stand-up Geordie tossers – Ant and Dec. Continue Reading

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Hey Rush: I’ve Got Some Satire I Wanna Sell You

Hey Rush: I’ve Got Some Satire I Wanna Sell You

What do you do when you’ve been outed on national radio trying once again to dish dirty lies about the President? If you’re Rush Limbaugh, you make up some half-assed excuse why you’re not a complete dumb ass for falling for yet another hoax. Seems Rush picked up on a story reporting that back in college, Obama wrote a thesis paper entitled “Aristocracy Reborn” that basically dissed the Constitution. NY Daily News has the whole story. Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Television12 Comments

World Begs Gosslins: Stop Airing Your Dirty Laundry

World Begs Gosslins: Stop Airing Your Dirty Laundry

It’s unlikely Kate or Jon Gosslin will read this, so consider it instead a lecture for the rest of you. After all, you too may soon become a TLC or E! reality show celebrity for what’s generally accepted as “no good reason at all”. We loved you for your normalcy and innocence; don’t mook it all up by being petty jerkwads in public. Sure, we all want to see it, but we won’t endorse you for it, and your prospects will suffer in kind. Continue Reading

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David Letterman Accepts Sex Revelations Humility, Ratings Boon

David Letterman Accepts Sex Revelations Humility, Ratings Boon

David Letterman has been preaching a daily tell-all on his nightly TV shows, almost boasting about his sexual exploits with his staff. His ratings have gone through the roof and other late night TV hosts are now paying attention to this gimmick, which has leapt him ahead in the cut-throat TV ratings game. Continue Reading

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David Letterman’s Top-10 Countdown to Adultery Absolution

David Letterman’s Top-10 Countdown to Adultery Absolution

Alleged philanderer David Letterman has recently found himself at the losing end of an extortion/cover-up of his extra-extra-extra marital affairs having taken place between himself and an undisclosed, but presumably impressive, number of his female staff members. Continue Reading

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Arkansas Mum Has 19th Nervous Breakdown

Arkansas Mum Has 19th Nervous Breakdown

Bobbie-Joe Muffitch from Twattown, Arkansas, is expecting her 19th new arrival in March next year. Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest, Television1 Comment

Glenn Beck Show Saved By Good Ol’ Boy Advertisers

Glenn Beck Show Saved By Good Ol’ Boy Advertisers

Glenn Beck is seeing his conventional ad revenues dry up due to his escalation of hate rhetoric, but the redneck community is coming to his aid to help keep him on the air. Continue Reading

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Posted in Biz News, Strange People, Television0 Comments

Darth Cheney Memoirs Basis for FOX-TV Reality Show

Darth Cheney Memoirs Basis for FOX-TV Reality Show

UNDISCLOSED, DELAWARE – Former VP Dick “Darth” Cheney announced today that he has retained the Trump Organization and The Donald as co-executive producers of his new “Memoirs” reality show to air on Fox this fall. Continue Reading

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Sharon Osbourne’s Reputation as Typical Bee-Hotch Unbroken

Sharon Osbourne’s Reputation as Typical Bee-Hotch Unbroken

I’ve seen that Sharon Osbourne and wondered how much of the icy face we see is put on by MTV and how much of it is the machinations of her own inner demons. Between the erratic behavior on her American obscure end cable show and what I’ve learned from the likes of Ricky Gervais, I had to wonder, but when I finally got my screener copy of the BBC hidden camera show “Balls of Steel”, I knew for sure… that lady isn’t just crazy, she’s straight up evil, almost as if she’s trying to reinvent the very devil herself. Continue Reading

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Aniston & Pitt Split, Fan Masturbation Hits New High

Aniston & Pitt Split, Fan Masturbation Hits New High

Hollywood – Brad Pitt has aknowleged that his “seven years in T’Bitch” has officially ended. With both Pitt and his A-list ex-wife, Jennifer Aniston back on the dating scene, surveys have shown that instances of fan masturbation are reaching new highs, indeed, bordering on epidemic. Continue Reading

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Bryant Gumbel Publishes “Almost Black Like Me”

Bryant Gumbel Publishes “Almost Black Like Me”

Fanfare accompanied critical praise this week as the New York Times best seller list welcomed it’s newest member. Rave reviews came from white, black, latino and Asian critics, all claiming him as a member of their own. Continue Reading

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Rescue 911 Bloopers – Hilarious Medical Misadventure Romp

Rescue 911 Bloopers – Hilarious Medical Misadventure Romp

The hottest selling video in the country right now is the sleeper “RESCUE 911: Too Sad For TV”, a compilation of stories with some hilarious goofs that weren’t aired on the original Rescue 911 series on CBS. Released a month ago, it has climbed to the top of the sales chart, passing Spiderman and selling three million copies over the past week. Continue Reading

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Barbara Walters Goes Out in Public Without Soft Focus Blur, Thousands Terrified

Barbara Walters Goes Out in Public Without Soft Focus Blur, Thousands Terrified

LOS ANGELES – ABC anchorwoman Barbara Walters ventured forth from her home in the hills just like any other day- but this time she forgot the soft focus blur that has become a staple for any appearance she makes, on television or otherwise. The crippling shock of seeing the 109-year-old Walters without her vanity mask of soft focus blur caused a massive accident on Rodeo Dr. in Beverly Hills, killing 16 motorists and passengers and seven pedestrians. Continue Reading

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Television0 Comments

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