Category: Entertainment
Jack and Diane Done: John Mellencamp Divorces
After 4 multi-platinum records, 6 platinum records, three gold records, and a string of four consecutive records that achieved no real status due to high amounts of sucking, John Mellencamp is ending his 20 years marriage, citing “it’s none of…
Dwight Freeney Learning to Take the “Free” Out of His Name
Those who follow NFL apparently know who Dwight Freeney is, even if most of America, and the landlord on his recording studio, haven’t heard a peep from him. He’s being sued for $422,150 in back rent on the studio, a…
Willow Smith Knows Who Her Daddy Is, Better Have His Money
According to documents filed by Roc Nation, the Jay-Z owned record label of Willow Smith, the hip-hop tween isn’t an artist, which is something anyone who has heard her music would agree. So what is the daughter of Will Smith?…
Snow Miser put on ‘No Fly’ list
Mr. Snow Miser who played, well the ‘Snow Miser’, on the hit Christmas television special, The Year Without a Santa Claus, discovered to his dismay that he has been put on the TSA’s ‘No Fly’ list. Mr. Miser, who was…
Media Boycotts Year in Review Stories, “It wasn’t that memorable a year”
In a rare show of solidarity, all news outlets have agreed to cancel ‘Year in Review’ retrospectives for 2010. The late December fluff pieces have long been a staple of American journalism, due in large part to the low skill…
Octomom May Be Saved by Vivid Entertainment’s Lingering Low-Def Division
TMZ is reporting that Octomom’s Nadya Suleman may not face a second foreclosure, due to her failure to pay her damned bills already. Fans and critics alike agree that she’s a worthless pail of hot garbage, but could this unholy…
Wall Street Whizzes “Said Sorry”, Beg Public for New Nest Eggs
The front page of USA Today announced that ‘Five Wall Street Heavyweights say it’s time to “Get Back Into Stocks!”’ Yes folks, for those of you who are not unemployed or living out of a storage unit, it is time…
Home Improvement’s Zachary Ty Bryan Sues for More than “Show Sucking”
Home Improvement’s “Brad Taylor”, played by erstwhile interesting sub-celebrity Zachery Ty Bryan, has filed a lawsuit against two partners in “Big Wangs”, a Hollywood sports bar. While analysts think he has better odds of suing for the complete destruction of…
Miley Cyrus Bongs are a Hit This Christmas
In this era of economic uncertainty, it’s easy to forget that millionaire child traffickers have it rough sometimes too. So the struggles of Miley Cyrus, Inc. have been a sadly ignored story, supplanted in the news by stuff about families…
President Obama Stars In ‘It’s A Wonderful Life’
President Obama gazed down from the icy bridge into the swirling frigid waters of the Potomac below him. In the darkness of the night the distance between him and its whirlpools seemed vast. He was at an end. The difficulties…