Categorized | Celebrity Gossip, Music

Jack and Diane Done: John Mellencamp Divorces

Jack and Diane Done: John Mellencamp Divorces

After 4 multi-platinum records, 6 platinum records, three gold records, and a string of four consecutive records that achieved no real status due to high amounts of sucking, John Mellencamp is ending his 20 years marriage, citing “it’s none of your business why.”

Mrs Mellencamp, who is described by her publicist as “a model”, and by everyone else as “a former model”, has yet to comment on the reasons for the separation, but anyone familiar with celebrity have a few good ideas.

It was her choice…
It would be perfectly understandable if the aging rock star brought home a few too many cases o’ crabs n’ chlamydia for the waning allure of his star power.

It was his choice…
Having married a model, as much as you love her, every morning you’re waking up with an older woman than you took to bed.

In either case, one thing is clear; he’s probably the bastard in all this.

According to one published report, the couple says they “are proud of their 20 years together and are very happy with their accomplishments both as parents and as a family.”

John and Elaine have not said if they have actually filed divorce, but still felt it neccessary to offer that they will continue to raise their two children in Indiana. If that doesn’t sound like child abuse, I don’t know what does.


This post was written by

- who has written 267 posts on

Dexter Sinistri is a famously centrist writer who has worked as a Hollywood correspondent for a number of leading publications since 2005. Though once a photographer, Mr. Sinistri struck out as a writer on all things celebrity, and he likes to consider himself a tremendous asset to Glossy News, though by most accounts, he has fallen somewhat short of this effort.


Leave a Reply

We are also looking for a satire editor
and a Clever Photoshop Guru...
We Made a Movie!

Check us out on Kickstarter!

Glossy News Exclusive Exposés

-- (SEE ALL Videos) --

Glossy News Fake Commercials!

More Great Satire:

Check out links to even more of our friends...
Want to see Your Link Here?

Our Top Authors (last 30-days)

All of Our Categories:

Top Stories - Top Stories; Politics - Top Stories; Serious Commentary - Top Stories; World News - Top Stories; Biz News - Top Stories; War Zone | Horoscopes
Entertainment - Entertainment; Celebrity Gossip - Entertainment; Television - Entertainment; Music - Entertainment; Internet Tubes - Entertainment; Books, Newspapers & Misc - Entertainment; Movies
Society - Society; Health - Society; Crime - Society; Travel - Society; Crooked Cops - Society; Education - Society; Strange People - Society; Religionism - Society; Human Interest - Society; Kidz Zone
Science and Technology - Science and Technology; Science - Science and Technology; Technology - Science and Technology; Gadgets & Gizmos - Science and Technology; Environment
Sports - Sports; Scandals - Sports; Athletes - Sports; Events | All the Rest - News in Your Briefs - Making Headlines - Opinion/Editorial