Octomom May Be Saved by Vivid Entertainment’s Lingering Low-Def Division

TMZ is reporting that Octomom’s Nadya Suleman may not face a second foreclosure, due to her failure to pay her damned bills already. Fans and critics alike agree that she’s a worthless pail of hot garbage, but could this unholy union marry fantasy and reality for the benefit of her dozen-plus kids?

Steve Hirsch is more than the CEO of the triple-x empire Vivid Entertainment, he’s a man of uncommon vision… specifically, that of soft focus, wide shot, heavily post-produced material.

News outlets have been reporting that Nadya Suleman has missed the balloon payment on her home, due back in October, and that despite continued payments, she’s as far out of contract is she is out of reality.

TMZ first reported that the lien holder, Amer Haddadin, is moving to foreclose on the house, which would leave Suleman and as many as 2.333 half-dozens of her children without a permanent home.

Why would Steve Hirsch want to buy her nasty film, let us not underestimate the depravity of the majority, or worse still… let us not listen to what Hirsch told TMZ, which was that, “This would be a great opportunity to begin a relationship with Octomom.”

He only likes one kind of film, so let’s just assume it’s going to be artistic, tasteful, and have nothing to do with the fact that her vagina is easily akin to a clown car.

To date, Octomom Nadya Suleman has rejected Vivid’s repeated offers, but considering she also denies having her lips plumped up with the fat of a dead African child, we just can’t predict what this lady will do.

It’s reported that Hirsch is still negotiating how much he’ll pay for the note to the house, but experts agree, the longer she holds out, the lower the offer will be… it’s rumored to be down to a single dirty sanchez at this point.

Lawyers for Amer and Hirsch have not yet confirmed exactly which acts of depravity could save her house, but both have stated publicly that they will not “pay off her house”, but rather just “give her enough to stay there a few months longer” until she’s willing to go “full x.”

Sources disagree as to whether “full x” refers to full nude, full Monty, or full retard.

Author: Dexter Sinistri

Dexter Sinistri is a famously centrist writer who has worked as a Hollywood correspondent for a number of leading publications since 2005. Though once a photographer, Mr. Sinistri struck out as a writer on all things celebrity, and he likes to consider himself a tremendous asset to Glossy News, though by most accounts, he has fallen somewhat short of this effort.

2 thoughts on “Octomom May Be Saved by Vivid Entertainment’s Lingering Low-Def Division

  1. Thank you for writing this article. I enjoyed it immensely. It’s time for her to be called out for what she is. You nailed it.

  2. So, Vivid ISN’T going to pay off the house? Only give a few months rent? My guess… $10K at most. Interesting deal Jeffro and Vivid are negotiating. Must be with the approval of the Octoscam.

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