Willow Smith Knows Who Her Daddy Is, Better Have His Money

According to documents filed by Roc Nation, the Jay-Z owned record label of Willow Smith, the hip-hop tween isn’t an artist, which is something anyone who has heard her music would agree. So what is the daughter of Will Smith?

The documents show that Roc Nation entered into agreement with Spooky Girl, Inc. to record the young Miss Smith. Spooky Girl only has one client, Willow, and it only has one owner, a former recording artist by the name of – wait for it – Will Smith.

As you can see in this photo, even Comcast OnDemand lists the song’s artist as “W. Smith”, a description which may confuse consumers as to who the real powerhouse is. Some might even think it’s Willow.

And Willow isn’t just his namesake daughter, but the height of ego is achieved when one realizes that she’s not only named after him; she’s merely listed as his employee.

I pay my kids to vacume the living room, but I sure as hell don’t make people watch it just because I’m still technically famous… which I’m not.

Analysts hope she still gets her allowance, because legally, she doesn’t have to get a dime from record sales. Based on how annoying her music is, however, it seems only fair.

To keep it all legal, Jada Pinkett Smith is listed as Willow’s guardian, since if Will was the guardian, it would be an obvious and undeniable conflict of interest. Since no conflict exists (cough, cough) in this strange little arrangement, clearly it’s all on the up-and-up.

So let’s go down to the courthouse and get all jiggy with the public disclosure? Not so fast. Will and Jada argued successfully that the record contract contains “highly sensitive and confidential proprietary business and financial information,” which is apparently Men in Black talk for “none yer damn business”. As such, it was filed under seal.

No word from Seal on how much he’d pay his six year old daughter Helene to make terrible, terrible music, but sources close to him say, “Ew, have you seen his face?”

Author: Dexter Sinistri

Dexter Sinistri is a famously centrist writer who has worked as a Hollywood correspondent for a number of leading publications since 2005. Though once a photographer, Mr. Sinistri struck out as a writer on all things celebrity, and he likes to consider himself a tremendous asset to Glossy News, though by most accounts, he has fallen somewhat short of this effort.

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